It’s a tough question to answer, as it has been a very long and winding road, as they say.

I’ve had chronic health issues for most of my life, so thinking about dying isn’t new. Plus I’ve even had cancer before, so I really thought about it then.

I think time is the main factor. Just sitting with the idea, being comfortable with it, not struggling against it, recognising that it happens to us all, some sooner than others, and that’s OK.

When I feel upset or anxious about death I don’t push it away, I focus on my breathing and tell myself that not only is it totally OK to feel this way, but it’s completely normal. I imagine that I’m swimming in the ocean and a wave has lifted me up. I don’t need to do anything, just relax and the wave will pass through me, and I’ll still be there afterwards.

Early on into my relapse I got high (weed) and my brain took me to this place where I imagined life without me in it. Kind of like a ghost, watching everyone react before slowly getting back into their daily lives. I cried a lot that night but since then I’ve been a lot calmer and accepting of it.

Yes, people will be sad but they will ultimately be OK. Everything will continue as normal once I’m gone, and that’s a good thing.