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Striker@lemmy.worldM to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 years ago

My children will refer to me as father.

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My children will refer to me as father.

lemmy.world

Striker@lemmy.worldM to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 years ago
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  • Smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works
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    2 years ago

    “Bruh, can you tuck me in?” 😂

    • einlander@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Aye bruh, can I get a goodnight kiss?

  • evil_ostrich@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    My daughter calls me Daddio.

    It’s pretty fucking awesome.

    • Everythingispenguins@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Sounds like she is one cool cat.

    • rmuk@feddit.uk
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      2 years ago

      It’s only cool if you look like that guy from the Iron Giant.

    • Fedizen@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Hopefully you’ve given her a proper hat and a pack of cigs because she’s so cool

    • 3ntranced@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Slide me some skin daddio

      • havokdj@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        sus

    • Dragon_Titan@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      I like Pops

  • Naja Kaouthia@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    My kids already call me bruh.

    • EmoBean@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      bruh

    • ivanafterall@kbin.social
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      2 years ago

      Alabama?

    • caveman8000@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Same

      • themeatbridge@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        My daughter hit me with “bro” tonight. She’s 8.

        • flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works
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          2 years ago

          Instantly grounded, no questions

          • RickyRigatoni@lemmy.ml
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            2 years ago

            Into the pit.

            • Crashumbc@lemmy.world
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              2 years ago

              …of despair

          • aksdb@feddit.de
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            2 years ago

            But daddy…

        • Kataklistika@lemm.ee
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          2 years ago

          My son just turned 5 and calls me “bruh” when he’s playing Minecraft. Otherwise it’s papa the rest of the day.

  • ReCursing@kbin.social
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    2 years ago

    I do not get the sexualisation of daddy. It just feels pedo and cringy to me. if I was having sex with someone and they called me daddy I’d probably immediately go soft

    • M137@lemm.ee
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      I get soft even if it just pops up in a title when looking at porn. It’s just deeply off-putting.

    • 🐑🇸 🇭 🇪 🇪 🇵 🇱 🇪🐑@lemmy.world
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      Just you wait until you meet people with mommy issues. THOSE you wanna avoid

      Mostly because I’m my experience people with mommy issues tend to be male NEETs who are incapable of seeing any woman as just a friend. Usually incels too. I found them to be kind of abusive as people too and turn vindictive when you don’t feed into their fantasies. As a woman, it’s always the same old story when I encounter these men.

      Meanwhile people with daddy issues usually have their shit together regardless of gender.

      • CaptainEffort@sh.itjust.works
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        I just feel bad. Those with daddy issues get way less hate than those with mommy issues.

        • 🐑🇸 🇭 🇪 🇪 🇵 🇱 🇪🐑@lemmy.world
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          deleted by creator

          • dumpsterlid@lemmy.world
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            Can we PLEASE differentiate between people who enjoy daddy or mommy kinks in a consensual fantasy setting with partners that are also into it, from people with deep psychological trauma relating to their parents that comes out in the vulnerable setting of sex? (one can be both obviously)

            Is this that hard people?!?? facepalm

            If you are having sex with someone with “daddy issues” or “mommy issues” and that reflects some weird way through their sexuality in a way that extends beyond fantasy into the realm of problematic behavior that is entirely a different problem and it has nothing to do with someone’s “kink” at that point.

            Yeah if partner just throws a kink at you without preparing you or determining if you might be interested in acting it out, that is shitty and honestly approaching the realm of violence, but don’t throw other people who are into the same kink under the bus who would never just launch you into some weird shit without making sure you were onboard through a framework of consent.

            Kinks don’t make rational sense, they are the tension between rationality and desire. They are all disgusting, transgressive and shocking. If you don’t like it fine, but wondering why anybody would be into it if you find it disgusting doesn’t really get you anywhere.

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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        Yeah as someone who is into mom bods I hear enough horror stories to be very grateful I don’t have to deal with them

      • cameron_vale@lemm.ee
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        deleted by creator

    • Harvey656@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      My partner calls me daddy and she’s older yhan me, so… what does that make me???

      • vivadanang@lemm.ee
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        2 years ago

        you’re the baby daddy.

        I don’t judge, more power to you.

    • bmsok@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      I’ve been in this exact situation. Went soft immediately and we had to have a talk about it.

    • Emerald@lemmy.world
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      I do not get the sexualisation of daddy. It just feels pedo and cringy to me

      I mean… it’s pretty common for people to call romantic partners “baby”, I don’t see how that’s different

      • ReCursing@kbin.social
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        Yeah I think that’s a bit weird as well tbh

    • yemmly@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      I’m probably soft right now as I write this

      • SuckMyWang@lemmy.world
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        I’m soft but by the end of this sentence I’m hard. Now I’m soft again. Weird.

    • 👁️👄👁️@lemm.ee
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      Sounds lame as hell, it’s awesome

  • MudMan@kbin.social
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    You can do “Pa”. It’s objectively impossible to sexualize “Pa”. You could try, but it’d immediately nuke the mood from orbit.

    • ryannathans@aussie.zone
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      Ok papi

      • MudMan@kbin.social
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        Note that Pa and papi are very much not the same.

        You can totally sexualize “papi”. It’s hard not to, honestly. Pa, though? Well, check out the rest of these replies and tell me if they sound like flirty sexy times or like they’re trying to warn me that we forgot to bring the sheep back in for the night.

        • TheSanSabaSongbird@lemdro.id
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          2 years ago

          “Yer squashin’ my smokes, Pa.”

          • LiveLM@lemmy.zip
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            2 years ago

            Eugh, what have you done???

      • db2@sopuli.xyz
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        deleted by creator

    • Striker@lemmy.worldOPM
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      You sure about that pa? Ugh. I literally shuttered while typing this.

    • Pregnenolone@lemmy.world
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      Pa~ 🥰😉😩💦

    • Something_Complex@lemmy.world
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      Yes but but but pa pi

  • 257m@sh.itjust.works
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    2 years ago

    “bruh or some shit” is a pretty long name.

    • helixdaunting@lemm.ee
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      2 years ago

      Use the acronym: BOSS

    • ivanafterall@kbin.social
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      2 years ago

      They shortened it to just “shit.”

  • Skipper_the_Eyechild@lemmings.world
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    2 years ago

    It might take a while to get all the syllables, and I fully expect them to get ‘mama’ first, but I’m gonna aim for ‘destroyer of worlds’.

  • LemmyIsFantastic@lemmy.world
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    Y’all watch too much porn. Touch grass.

    • Ddhuud@lemmy.world
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      Like… Sexually?

      • giggling_engine@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Bruh

        • vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works
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          2 years ago

          I shall fuck the dirt you walk on!

          • andrew@feddit.de
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            2 years ago

            Saltburn has entered the chat

            • vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works
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              2 years ago

              My dick is as caloused as my feet it looks like a flesh cactus!

              • reagansrottencorpse@lemmy.world
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                I hate this mental image

          • MightyGalhupo@lemmy.world
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            2 years ago

            Too late, I already have

          • credit crazy@lemmy.world
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            2 years ago

            That is the most oddly threatening insult I’ve heard

        • troglodytis@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          daddy

    • Aggravationstation@lemmy.world
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      Can I touch ass or gas instead? I’ve been told those three things are of equal value.

  • cooopsspace@infosec.pub
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    Tell Dad jokes and all you get it “bruh”.

  • NewAgeOldPerson@lemmy.world
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    Aa shitposting, this is hilarious. Given some comments though… It’s funny. People think this is a new thing. It’s just more in your face due to ubiquitous network we live in today. It has always been thus. Or did you think kinks just started after the Internet?

    • Crashumbc@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Steam powered, dildo machines were a thing…

      • rmuk@feddit.uk
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        Well, the little guy does love the whole steampunk thing…

      • hakunawazo@lemmy.world
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        Steam, huh, is this some weird Half Life 3 confirmed post? ;)

        • moonsnotreal@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          I wasn’t even alive when half life 2 came out. I’m 18. Half life 3 is never happening :(

          • hakunawazo@lemmy.world
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            I’m a bit older than you.
            I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe… Sequels of first-person shooters with weapons you couldn’t imagine…
            I watched head shot combos in the dark near the campers hide.
            All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain…
            Time to play.

    • funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works
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      Sacher-Masoch (of “masochism” fame) was born in 1836, de Sade (of “sadism” fame) in 1740. So it’s probably not a new thing, no.

      • lillardfair@lemmy.world
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        That’s sad that sadists were walking around for almost a century where no one wanted to put up with their shit

    • credit crazy@lemmy.world
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      Tbh I’m pretty sure the Internet just made us hyper fixate on sex.

  • BilboBargains@lemmy.world
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    I henceforth refer to you as some shit

    • RandomStickman@kbin.social
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      Ain’t that Some Shit

    • Toldry@lemmy.world
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      some shit, can you tuck me in?

  • NoneYa@lemm.ee
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    deleted by creator

    • poppy@lemm.ee
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      When I was a kid my dad forbade me from calling him “dude”.

      • thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org
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        haha when I was in about 1st grade, at my friends house and we had just discovered “dude” so everything was dude

        we see his father and we are like

        “whats up dude” Him: “Im not a dude!”

        we laugh and laugh and he finally clarifies “I’m not YOUR dude, I’m your dad!”

        I still remember that after all these years, so funny. BTW is your name Pat?

      • HeyJoe@lemmy.world
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        https://youtube.com/shorts/BEWcK82ALmY?feature=shared

        • PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocksB
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          Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

          https://piped.video/shorts/BEWcK82ALmY?feature=shared

          Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

          I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.

    • jtk@lemmy.sdf.org
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      If he had said “I’m your daddy” it would be clear why now they’re just a couple that you used to know.

  • KeriKitty (They(/It))@pawb.social
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    Sometimes my mom says I’m a good girl when I help her out and it kinda icks me out <.<; I’m like “uuucchh you’re my mom, not my dom! Stop calling me that!” but I don’t wanna actually say that to her because that seems like it’ll just make the matter even more awkward.

    Anyway, hi, Lemmy Shitpost, how are you :D 😅🤣

    • MsPenguinette@lemmy.world
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      you’re my mom, not my dom

      This is such a great line but also super niche in situations where it’s appropriate. I think you gotta take the opportunity to drop it next time it appears… you have no choice

      • KeriKitty (They(/It))@pawb.social
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        super niche

        Imean… One would expect, no?!

        you have no choice

        You’re not even my mom! Nyeh-nyeh! :P (See, it’s funny because it implies that dom > mom > rando … but I’d never listen to Mom harharharharhar I should really have a nap.)

        • EvolvedTurtle@lemmy.world
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          I feel this energy lmao

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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      “You’re my mom not my dom”

      Great now I’m dreading the day I hear this said to my gf from her kid

  • TheBlue22@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    Thank goodness it’s not sexualized in my language

    • wafflez@lemmy.world
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      deleted by creator

      • TheBlue22@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        Slovak

        Never heard anyone using “Tati”, “Tatino”, “Otec” or whatever other combination of those in a sexual manner.

        • stockRot@lemmy.world
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          “ohh tati”

          Yeah I can make this work

          • TheBlue22@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            Oh god

            OH FUCK

          • NarendraCzar@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            Tati is shit in hindi. Oh shitt

        • GNU Dude@lemmy.world
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          Dobrý večer, nečakal som že tu nájdem aj Slovákov

          • trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world
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            Everyone on the internet is a Hungarian

        • force@lemmy.world
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          heyyy i’m applying for slovak citizenship

        • Dick Justice@lemmy.world
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          Be the change the world needs

        • cameron_vale@lemm.ee
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          deleted by creator

  • MystikIncarnate
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    You will be the father, they will be the son, and mom will be the Holy ghost.

    porn music starts

    • credit crazy@lemmy.world
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      Darth Vaders family in a nutshell

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