Don’t “memesplain” us

Fuck you, the printer demon demands more magenta.

I had AI write me a script for a pilot episode now I really want to see it.

Surf Dracula - Pilot Episode: “The Tide of Terror”## INT. HAWAIIAN BEACHSIDE BUNGALOW - NIGHT*The camera pans over a collection of surfboards, each more colorful than the last. A full moon casts a silver glow through the open window. We see a figure, DRACULA (50s, charming, with a mysterious aura), dressed in an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt and board shorts, looking out at the ocean.DRACULA(contemplative)*The night is young, and the waves call to me. But duty beckons…

A knock at the door. Dracula turns, his eyes flashing red for a split second.## EXT. HAWAIIAN BEACH - NIGHT*Dracula opens the door to find DETECTIVE LEI (30s, sharp, no-nonsense) holding a flashlight and a notepad.DETECTIVE LEIDracula, we need your… unique skills. There’s been another incident. DRACULA(smirking)Lead the way, Detective. They walk down to the beach where a crowd has gathered around something in the sand.## EXT. HAWAIIAN BEACH - CRIME SCENE - NIGHTDracula kneels by the body of a local surfer, his board snapped in two. The crowd murmurs with fear and curiosity.DRACULA(examining the body)*No water in the lungs, no signs of a struggle… This was no ordinary drowning. *Detective Lei looks on, skeptical but intrigued.DETECTIVE LEIWhat are you suggesting? DRACULA(standing, addressing the crowd)This was the work of something unnatural. And I intend to find out what. The crowd gasps. Dracula’s eyes meet Lei’s, a silent promise of collaboration and mystery.## INT. DRACULA’S BUNGALOW - NIGHTDracula sits at a desk covered in ancient texts and modern forensics equipment. He’s deep in thought when his trusty sidekick, FRANKIE (20s, surfer dude with a secret intelligence), bursts in.FRANKIEDude, the whole beach is talking about the “Curse of the Tidal Fiend”! DRACULA(dryly)Superstitions often have a kernel of truth, Frankie. Help me look into the local legends. They dive into research, the camera focusing on a particular legend: “The Tidal Fiend, a creature of the deep, comes with the high tide to claim the souls of the unwary.”## EXT. HAWAIIAN BEACH - NIGHTDracula and Frankie set a trap for the Tidal Fiend, using a special surfboard as bait. The moon is high, the tide comes in, and a shadowy figure approaches from the water…DRACULA(whispering)*Get ready, Frankie. The hunt is on. *The screen fades to black as the sound of the waves crescendos.*VOICEOVERNext time on Surf Dracula, the mystery deepens, and the danger grows. Will our heroes catch the Tidal Fiend, or will they become its next victims? Tune in to find out!

The 80s synth-pop theme song plays as the credits roll. FADE OUT.

Luckily Batman didn’t draw some glasses on the billboard

Have him wish for a change in the duration of a second, and watch as the metric system falls apart.

Well apparently there are no negative consequences for staging a coop.

All the other states can fuck off, probably.

You were supposed to reply, I’ve met enough of them

Cosmology you put enough mass in a small enough area it becomes a singularity.

Quantum mechanics information can’t be destroyed to an unrecoverable state so singularities are impossible.

NPC: hey buddy I know you just killed the world ending dragon but my shoe string broke and it would be dangerous to for me to walk to the other side of town to get a replacement string. Can you go get me the string? If you do this for me I give you an item that you have an inventory full of that you won’t use because you are saving them all for a tougher fight, even after beating the secret ultra hard boss and the final boss but there might still be a need.

Me: hell yes I’ll get your shoe string on the other side of the world if I had to. Don’t worry about giving me any money I maxed that out hours ago and can’t find anything to spend it on. Sure I’ll take the item, you never know when you might land in a fight where a potion that heal 1% saves me. Sorry about not talking to you 100 hours ago your character model looked kind of plain so I didn’t think you would have quest for me.

Hey that’s the guy that successfully killed that failure Hitler.

Well I mean why is Mercury still a planet? It didn’t clear it’s own orbit, it just happens to be in an empty orbit.

Finally a relevant reason to post this instead of me just posting out of my love for zinc. https://youtu.be/U1iCZpFMYd0

Good I was worried they were going to say hooking a truck up to a car is acceptable. We all know that is unnatural and against God’s plan.

Then that makes it the solar system’s first discovered Binary planets

Pop up some of the quarter round behind one of the toilets and drop the paperclip between the flooring and the studs then a quick tap down of the quarter round. With the extra time I might quickly paint a few spots in other rooms to distract them.

Like how the Spartans are remembered for thermopylae even though they weren’t the only ones fighting there. And then the Spartans went crying to the Persian to help them fight Athens in the Peloponnesian War. And also the first person to run a marathon died after delivering the message so now people hear that story and think I bet it won’t kill me.

Cunt

That looks scary, I need to pick up my bucket.

This would be the 4th movie. Everyone keeps forgetting about the first movie. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/28_Days_(film) I know it is slower paced than the others but come on you can’t just ignore it and pretend it isn’t in the franchise.