Yeah! Fuck billionaire Bryan Cranston!

Hot take! We’ve got a hot take over here!

Have you never done a “replace all” in a word document?

All of the water inside milk is now milk. All the stuff that wasn’t water that had already been in milk is now mixed in with the new milk. You have double milk. Mmilklk.

I had a copy of Giant Robot and Electric Tears back in the day and was thinking maybe there was a third album I was missing…

Single digits for sure. I’ll be okay from -9 to +9, but I don’t really see a solution to a 999°F heatwave

Ah ah, no. It’s not “free” healthcare. Free is for dirty socialists unless it’s followed closely by 'dom.

We should encourage capitalist market growth by subsidizing the Healthcare industry to hook Americans on more frequent health visits to increase their taxable lifespan.

Basically, the whole Healthcare system is currently a la carte. Americans are only paying when they need something. Streaming services have proven the way of the future is with subscription services. Other countries have been doing it for decades. Everyone pays an annual fee and gets access to a vast catalog of medical treatment.

It’s fucking nefarious and if Republicans ever find out about it, the for-profit Socialist industry of paying into a company to pay for other people’s medical needs would be absolutely doomed. We, as the left, need to be very loud and vocal about how much we do not want healthcare to be a tax-driven subscription model or we’ll totally lose our community communist insurance collectives.

But it’s critically necessary for functionality.

Got a question? Google it an boom there’s an AI summary for you. Now you’re engaged in scrolling past the dubious response and the sponsored links before you can get to the results you want.

It’s called ‘enhancing the user experience’. It was tedious to ignore the paid ads where you were likely to be misled for profit, but now it’s enhanced tedium where you’re likely to be misled for no fucking reason.

Move over, Conan. I have a new favorite “the Destroyer”

“I’m focused on affordability, and how can I afford to participate in political corruption if our ill-gotten gains are subject to taxation and scrutiny?”

These unconvicted foreigners, who some people refer to as “InNocEnt ciViLiANs”

Didn’t that belong to HR Giger?

Voting for government is not “who do you think should be in charge” it’s “these are your options now”. Your time to change those options is way way before the election.

Not voting is voting “ehh, just whoever everyone else thinks.”

Abstaining isn’t the big brain move you think it is.

CAPITAL LETTERS ARE MORE POWERFUL THAN THE LESSER LOWER CASE. PHIL, LINGUIST

“A million dollars is not unreasonable. And a billion is just one more than a million. And a trillion is just one more than that. So, like, being a trillionaire is only 3 times more than being a millionaire, so what’s the big deal?”

Whoa whoa, the government is NOT anti-mask.

Take ICE for example…

A handy guide to America:

Wearing a mask to prevent the spread of infection during a global pandemic? It’s an excuse to hide your face, you literally cannot breate through it, and it’s a symbol of leftist fascism.

Wearing a mask literally to hide your identity so you can physically accost and abduct anyone under the pretense of ‘immigration authority’ with zero need for due process so there are no repercussions when you are wrong? That’s protecting your country.

Yeah, but then you have packaging costs, and distribution costs, and marketing costs, and shareholder dividends, and CEO bonuses, and AI integration, and lobbying costs…

So really, we’re practically losing money at a $450/month subscription.

Who? Who thought this was even a remote possibility from Republicans?

“Ehh, it’ll be easier to block Trump on fundamentally everything he does as he dismantles the country and straps American prosperity for his own gain than to influence Harris’ foreign policy. I think I’ll make my voice heard by just not voting.”

Uh, apartments are small and house parents with their children… aka a nuclear family. So, checkmate, library.

/s (jesus christ it’s depressing that’s necessary)