I blame the parents and schools for not doing anything about bullies and teasing. I was in the trenches as a kid, I remember all the Jack Shit they did back then.

Human: you look like a filthy [insert fantasy race here] and I hate you.

It’s what they use to train new cops.

Dude, who even takes size C?

Because they saw old movies and cartoons where ridiculous villains had gator-filled moats around their evil lairs and felt inspired.

Technically each scientist can hit the balloon more than once, just not in succession.

Maybe it’s in Russia.

None of them do. They were just programmed real good during the red scare to have a knee-jerk reaction to anything with the name communist or socialist.

I want to cry but there aren’t enough tears.

Well to be fair it pays to be more aerodynamic on the plains.

No, see, a bunch more of those personalities make up the difference with interest because they’re bankers.

Good. We fucking deserve it.

My dad’s gas grill doesn’t do this either. Sometimes the boomer inability to understand technology is a blessing. Now if only he’d stop downloading sketchy slots games and getting viruses…

To be fair there are people out there named Dung. How the hell are we supposed to just overlook that!?

I hate how it can take literally having your choices fuck you over to get some people to change.

I despise how more people have their choices fuck them over and then double, triple, and quad down on them.

And that’s the other reason I didn’t listen to the radio.

No, this is a lemon

You mean TRUMP’S DOJ and FBI? You don’t say.

There’s three hamsters running on a wheel in shifts up in my skull.