Perhaps fair, but if true and this site does supervised urines with any type of frequency, this is the absolute shittiest way to do it.

One-way glass mirror to a small room on the side makes for better observation, and that’s the way to go. Labs with multiple sites will often designate sites with bathrooms like this for any DoT or other supervised urine collection.

Source: Of all the things on my resume, “occasionally watching guys pee for money” is the funniest.

Reading this, you’re not insane, the world of small commercial cake making is. Some of this reeks of wanting your cake to be, in part, advertisement for the business - resistance to your more plain stylistic choices (not ‘Insta-worthy’ from the sound of it), not using the workflow that gets this work on their feed for folks to look at, etc.

Like, in one sense I get it, but in another it’s a cake motherfucker. Take money for cake. Make cake. Give cake. That’s the core business, and sometimes that’s all you need to or should do.

True - I just want him caught in another lie for the hell of it tbh, no matter what his choices re: chemical recreation he’s a piece of shit.

Even the ones on his balls?

(Sort of kidding, though fr I’d prefer a body hair collection anyway)

Discard organized religion, replace it with rational materialism and/or roll your own bullshit.

Personally, I opt for the second one - this religion/spiritualism stuff hits different when you know, constantly remind yourself, and tell others that it’s just your pet pile of bullshit.

Will share what I know, but for the record I’m a layman - any toxicologists in the house?

Depends on the compound, dosage, frequency of use, sample type, and test method. A screening immunoassay, for instance, will usually have a higher cut off than an LC-MS/MS (liquid chromatography tandem mass spectrometry) test. Good rule of thumb for your typical urine drug of abuse screen is 2 to 3 days, but again this varies (THC, for instance, can be detected for a loong time depending how big a stoner you are/how long you’ve used).

The stuff folks are mostly worried about re: Elon? About 2-3 days, assuming the typical urine DoA screen.

Now, you can also test other sample types (hair, nails, etc.), and in which case some compounds are detectable for much longer (90 days, etc.). But that window is also impacted by stuff like (in the case of hair, for example) how much hair is collected, where it’s collected (scalp v. body hair), how long after last use it’s collected, etc.

So I’m familiar with this organization for reasons.

USDTL itself is the real deal. Not a drug testing expert, but it’s probable the assay used flags positive for Ecstasy in the presence of either MDMA and/or MDMA metabolites like MDA. Like the guy below you said, it’s also common to separate out oxy from opiates - an opiate screen from this lab detects codeine, hydrocodone, hydromorphone, and morphine. The oxy screen flags positive in the presence of oxycodone and oxymorphone.

None of this is to say it’s actually Elon’s urine, though - I’d usually give USDTL the benefit of the doubt re: chain of custody, but the guy has too much money and brainwashees to totally rule out this being an unsupervised collection where someone else’s pee was swapped in. Send me an uncut video of a hair collection, with the specimen id clearly marked and everything packaged up to forensic standards on camera, and I might have less doubt.

At least in that case, any fuckery after the fact is a great way to lose CAP accreditation.

Yep, smorty is definitely on the list of comfy causes. But reading some of her comments on merch, if she ever did this, I feel like she’d probably want to donate any excess to something.

Wouldn’t judge if she didn’t, just get that kind of vibe.

There’s been more than a few times my kid has called me out by saying “Use your inside thoughts”.

Man, if I didn’t go to stuff alone, I’d almost never leave my house.

Is it distinctive, though? I went to Mexico and saw this everywhere from folks who seemed like locals.

Helen Creighton rolls in her grave a little bit

Yep. Having given the dopamine spike some time to subside, 99% certain I got fooled. Fits the title, though - nice little reminder that no one is truly immune (or at least, I’m not, and I thought I was pretty savvy).

About $30 CAD, “half-price”, which was another red flag.

Right!?!? Did some searching, though - while this came from a real ad, the whole thing reeks of dodginess.

Probably, which is the main thing that held me back from purchasing. It was just a weird experience - I never felt that “OMG I need this” trigger directly from an online ad for useless bullshit before. Felt weird. Wrong. Generally uncool. But still.

Quoting, with some degree of irony, John Waters:

Don’t you dare change for anyone, smorty! Unless it’s something that you really want.

So my Dad’s an impressive guy, at least to me. Dropped out of high school after getting into an argument with a nun about divine authority, had a kid (me!) out of wedlock, married my mom and joined the military to provide, had a moment of self-reflection when child me did some math with fruit, did night school to get his high school diploma, after several deployments and changes in trade got a four year degree done in two years, became an officer, rose through the ranks and is now retired from the military, doing civvy stuff that protects the rights of servicepeople under the law. Beyond all of this, he is always trying new stuff: baking cookies, making his own clothes, repair on all sorts of shit, wilderness stuff, writing, painting, drawing, programming, photography, Qigong, studying philosophy - the list goes on, to this day (he’s currently on a motorcycle repair kick). I basically watched this guy transform from a disappointed, angry young man to a character you could find in a Heinlein novel and say “Jesus, there’s the competent man trope, right on time”.

With all of this in mind, what sticks in my head is what he said when I did some bogus (probably) IQ test as a kid and ran up to him with a good result: “IQ is just a measure of potential. It’s what you do with that potential that’s the important part”. Whether I’ve lived up to that idea is a separate question, but it still comes to mind these days.

This is also coupled with memories of near blows/fist fights over stupid shit growing up, but that’s also offset by watching him make a real effort to learn and account for/manage his temper. He’s a remarkably chill person at this point.

Love this guy, he is a rock fucking solid dude.

If you’re an adult Pokemon fan, these days fan-mades or rom hacks are the way to go. Nintendo/The Pokemon Company/Game Freak are pretty damn risk averse with this property, so the really cool stuff comes from fans (at least until they get the cease and desist).