• LemmysMum@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I’d perhaps liken it more to jumping in the water to save someone who’s drowning.

    Thank you, that’s an anology I can work with.

    No matter how rational a person is, emotion and subconscious reactions can override all of that.

    I wish that was the case. I’m diagnosed as high functioning autistic presenting, 100% autism free, but my natural capacity for logic obliterated my emotional development. I can and do functionally parse all my emotional thought through logic. This is my weakness and my strength.

    I’m not unaware that my approaches are often mistaken for dismissal or ignorance of people’s feelings, because they are, but they’re also the tools that emotional people need to temper their emotions.

    I don’t lack empathy, I lack the tools to express it, work in progress.

    These people are at the bottom of the well and I don’t have a rope, but that’s not going to stop me jumping in to try save them, even if I do drown every time until I get one. I just hope I can teach some of them to climb without the rope even though they feel like they need it.

    I can’t help, so let me help you help yourself.

    • LillyPip
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      1 year ago

      but my natural capacity for logic obliterated my emotional development. I can and do functionally parse all my emotional thought through logic. This is my weakness and my strength.

      Dude, 100% same. I spent the better part of two decades developing my capacity for empathy (it was a core requirement in my chosen career), and I still have issues truly relating on an individual level.

      Humans are messy, incoherent, illogical creatures. You and I are, too, whether or not we want to see it. The pitfall we face is our propensity to extrapolate our personal experience to others where that just doesn’t work. We want things to make sense, and we think our solution should just work, but people aren’t like coins with binary answers. They’re more like a fistful of dice made of slime and bees with no numbers on their faces.

      We make you want to give up because we’re confusing and painful. Eventually you can figure out patterns, though they’ll change and frustrate you.

      Sorry for the mini-rant. I’ve enjoyed our conversation.

      • LemmysMum@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Sorry for the mini-rant. I’ve enjoyed our conversation.

        No need to apologise, the opportunity to feel comprehended has been far more valuable than you might realise.

        I might have trouble relating and connecting on an emotional level but my belligerence to be understood is limitless. Gets me in trouble because most people feel instead of comprehend and that’s just not logical.

        One of the feelings I hate the most is the feeling you get when you know someone agrees with you they just lack the capacity to know why. It’s the bane of my existance.

        Lol. Guess it’s my turn to apologise for the rant.