I stopped drinking on the 18th of March 2023. Because of where I live and how my culture socialises, this was a huge step. But to be honest, in hindsight it was just something I’d been putting off for a long time. The hangovers did just become a nightmare to deal with, plus I didn’t feel like I was doing well with my personal relationships because of it. I’m glad to have all that time back, although I miss part of the social aspect. I’m working on creating a sober social life but it’s very early days.
How has your sobriety journey been for you?
I absolutely loved using r/stopdrinking as a resource. Now that I’m not on reddit so much I’d love to find a new community here! Has anyone created a sobriety community on the fediverse yet?
Yes, I stopped in Autumn, 2016. I was an alcoholic in my late 40s, from a long line of alcoholics in a culture that is infamous for heavy drinking. I spend a lot more time alone now, but that’s okay- the whole reason I drank was to make socialising tolerable.
I will be honest, I used psilocybin to start me off on my sober life, and it worked. I wouldn’t say it’s for everyone who wants to stop, but it worked incredibly well for me. I lost the urge to drink completely and it has never come back.
My first psilocybin trip was half a year into sobriety and made a profound difference. Not only did I lose interest in drinking as an activity, I also started being able to connect the dots on what was actually making me miserable in a way sobriety alone couldn’t provide.
Congratulations! Quitting drinking was one of the best things I’ve done for my life, too.
I just wanted to mention, for anyone else following this thread: I had help from naltrexone.
It may still be considered an “off-label application” for alcoholics, depending on where you live in the world. But it worked for me, after many previous attempts and relapses.
For anyone who’s interested in learning more, here’s a case study to get you started: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2565602/
Congrats to you too!! How was your experience on naltrexone? Did it help with withdrawal symptoms or does it work a different way?
Naltrexone is not a detox drug. If you’re physically dependent, naltrexone probably can’t help with that - inpatient detox is still a vitally important step for some alcoholics.
In my case, I was already able to choose to take a day off drinking without suffering DT. My problems tended more towards runaway consumption, when I did choose to drink.
I finally found this intervention that worked for me in 2015.
My psychiatrist prescribed me the stuff and said “for the first month, just take the pills each day and drink when you want. Keep notes if you can, about when you drink and how much. We’re establishing a baseline here”
By the end of the first month, my rigorous note-taking revealed I was already choosing drink less often, and that the runaway drinking that I was prone to seemed not to get out of hand quite so regularly.
Naltrexone seemed to tone down some circuit in my brain. The inner voice yelling “MOAR” felt … less imperative. The satisfaction of “a good drunk,” to me at least, became inextricably associated in my mind with the sad hollowness of the next morning’s hangover.
It helped me retrain my reward circuits. And it’s stuck ever since.
I stopped drinking but not by choice. I got a medical diagnosis that meant I go to the hospital if I drink and possibly get some intestines removed.
Sucks because I liked craft beer and didn’t even drink a lot. Maybe a beer after work and a few on weekends.
One good thing though is that at least my waistline is pretty great without all those extra calories. My liver is probably pretty happy too.
Sorry to hear about your health troubles.
The weight thing is mad isn’t it? It’s been quite easy to keep weight off. Although I think I’ve upped my sugar intake to make up for it!
Thanks friend, the diagnosis was several years ago at this point so it’s been a while and I’ve had my grieving time. Things are better now and it definitely gets easier with time, but the first year or so was rough for me ngl. The health improvements helped though like the weight but I also just feel overall more alert and aware than before I stopped drinking.
I don’t go to the same social situations I used to either, going to a bar with some friends is not really a great time for me now. Being the designated driver was fun for a few months but I get tired of being sober around a bunch of drunk people. So that aspect is difficult as well, but you find different hobbies and activities and with that different friends. Doesn’t mean you have to say goodbye to the old friends, but if all they like to do is drink then it will get harder to spend time together. Many of the friends from before I had to stop drinking are now just distant acquaintances on my social media friends list. So that’s a reality I’d say to just be ready for and try not to let it get you down. That’s life and sometimes life takes us in different directions. Do what’s best for you.
Happy to hear that you’re finding good resources online though! Wishing you the best with your journey!
I stopped drinking almost 6 years ago because when I started drinking I drank way to much. Had no ability to moderate. And the hangovers were killing me.
I have achieved so much more in my life now that I dont drink. Got a degree, bought an apartment, had a kid…
These days I drink once a year (which occasion I choose changes) and I have a maximum of 2 beers and I find that I am able to manage that without going into binge drinking territory again. I also find that I dont really want to drink more than that.
I used to drink a lot to deal with loud social situations as an autistic person (especially bars, pubs and clubs) but these days Im very happy being a day time activity person and being in bed by 9pm. I feel like my community does not show young people enough ways to socialise and have fun without alcohol so it took me a long time to find that for myself.
I feel like my community does not show young people enough ways to socialise and have fun without alcohol so it took me a long time to find that for myself.
Hear hear! Since drinking I’ve realised that there’s very little else to do where I live. Now that I’m not calmed down by drinking, sitting in a bar all night has me bouncing up and down off my seat from boredom!!
Yes. 7 years. I stopped because I was a horrendous binge drinker. The first year was the most challenging but after about 18 months I was able to have a non alcoholic beer once in a while to take the edge off. I would say I get the urge maybe once or twice a year now but it’s more of a ‘Oooh, that would be nice’ but I know it’s a slippery slope back if I do have one.
Overall, much happier and I wish I’d stopped sooner but I can’t change the past.
Congrats mate! I quit in 2020 after over 20 years of steady drinking. I wish I could get that time back. Sometimes I miss the taste and how a drink or two allowed me to focus on one thing at a time but I don’t miss being hungover or wasting money on it.
Ayy don’t concentrate so much on the time you wish you could get back, rather concentrate on what to do with your upcoming time. “What can I do?” is a much worthier investment than “What should have I done differently?”
Yeah for sure, I’m trying to make the most of the time I have left.
Nov of 2019 for me. I am quite happy i was able to quit before COVID hit. I probably would’ve drained my account having to stay indoors 24/7. I didn’t even notice (neither did my partner) the signs that it was getting out of hand. I never noticed how bad my hands used to tremble when trying to steady a knife. At my peak it was close to every other day and I easily would’ve upped it had my recovery time not prevented it.
I was forced to quit due to my severe anxiety getting so out of hand that I had trouble leaving the house and my insides starting hurting immensely after having only one drink.
I do miss the taste quite often and just being able to go out and have a beer or so with friends. Unfortunately in the end I was never good at just having ‘one or two.’i was a social drinker, but had to stop when i went on psych meds. i’m off them now but i never started drinking again. it definitely is a little awkward in social situations, but also, i realized i just never really liked the taste of most drinks or how being drunk felt, honestly. i was just doing it bc i felt peer pressured to.
The awkwardness in social situations is a killer. Have you found it’s gotten any easier over time to deal with that?
not really. honestly, if someone is being really weird about it i still say i can’t drink because i’m on medication, even though that’s not true anymore.
I stopped drinking at home. And very happy about that. So far that works for me, because if I didn’t it would have been getting out of hand fast. Now I just drink outside the house and only in a social context. And because I’m not that social, my drinking is so far under control. :) But if I would see that I’d go out of my way to start drinking outside the home setting, I’d have to quit it all. You gotta do what you gotta do. It sucks not being like other people which can do things in moderation, but hey, they have other problems. Good for you btw. Pinpointing a problem and trying to better yourself. Kudos!
It sucks not being like other people which can do things in moderation, but hey, they have other problems.
Couldn’t have put it better myself. I’ve told people about my attempts to cut down over the years and they say things like, why don’t you have just one or two and then stop? If I could do that then I wouldn’t need to try to moderate! But you’re right, everyone struggles with something. Classic human condition! I like that outlook.
Congrats on cutting down too!! I hope it’s helping you :)
I’ve tried it many times, just cutting down a bit and hoping it would stick. But it never did. I liked it too much. Now when I go on vacation and I drink there daily, when coming back home I really notice that I’m having a lot more trouble with my own rule. But it works and the longer I do it the easier it gets. Just gotta be vigilant. If that’s our only problem, then we’re not doing that bad huh. :)
I stopped! I grew up around heavy drinkers and for most of my childhood and early adulthood, I just didn’t know anybody who wasn’t one. I don’t really feel like it was a conscious decision to start drinking as much as I did as a teen, it was just expected and part of everyday life. I had a lot of fun at points when I was young, but, the fun ratio had pretty much gone down to zero by my mid 20s and it was just something that felt exhausting and anxious. Around the pandemic I started to come to terms with some memories, and realized I didn’t want to be around it anymore, and more importantly, that I didn’t have to if I didn’t want to. There was no obligation. It was the right choice for me, and the pandemic/some unrelated health issues I developed made it easy for me to just bounce and not interact with those people or environments anymore. It has been a bit tough to try to find or meet new people (for lots of reasons, not just alcohol ) but I do know that the friendships I had which were only propped up by alcohol weren’t real friendships, and I’m glad it’s out of my life. I feel a lot more emotionally even, calm and just better about myself. I feel like drinking was just assumed from so early in my life, that I never got the chance to decide for myself about whether or not I wanted to drink. I’m really glad I got to finally think about it and make a real choice that’s actually mine.
My two year soberversary is coming up at the end of the month. I was a bartender for 15ish years, got cirrhosis and a liver transplant, now back in school for a career change.
I haven’t found a so er community in the fediverse yet, though I through sobriety as a topic when beehaw was soliciting new community ideas the other week. Hopefully something comes of it.
I personally am finding it hard to make sober friends. My old drinking friends, I believe, find it easier to avoid me then have my presence remind them of the fact that making alcohol a huge part of your identity can have seriously negative consequences.
I’ve tried recovery groups, but the groupthink and religious emphasis of most of them do not jive well with me.
So, it’s been a lonely experience for me. But the clarity and drive to accomplish things I’ve gained is amazing.
I’ve found my journey a little lonely too. I’ve tried some new hobbies, like dancing, to try make it easier, but like all things it takes a long time to break into a new group and actually become friends with with people. I’ll keep trying though. I love dancing even though I’m not very good!
I’ve been sober since February 2018, after my dad passed away. My drinking had been increasing since my marriage ended a couple years before that, and I knew it was starting to get out of hand, but it took my dad’s death to give me the motivation I needed to stop. He was a lifelong drinker, and I realized that’s just not what I want for myself. Good luck to you on your journey, OP.
I stopped drinking a few years ago.
I never had an alcohol abuse problem and didn’t drink frequently, but I hated how my brain got super cloudy when I drank even one beer.
Even divining one beer made me sleep terribly and wake up super early, so the next day was terrible.
I eventually had an unrelated medical problem that I dealt with for years alcohol seemed to make the symptoms worse. So I slowly stopped drinking over time.
It was hard to stop 100% as I worked occasionally have a craving for it and have a beer or two. But at this point I have not had any alcohol at all for at least two years. But I stopped drinking for the most part like 4 years ago.
I honestly do not miss it at all.
I don’t drink or have much experience on this subject but I just wanted to say hell yeah and awesome job. If that’s the route you want to go, be proud of taking that first step. Hopefully you find a new community outside of reddit that offers similar resources. Cheers!
Hey, thanks! That means a lot! I can’t really talk about it much outside of online spaces because I don’t want to sound like I’m judging anyone for their life choices. It’s just what’s working for me right now and I really am proud of it :)
I don’t judge people for their choices. Hell, my partner is a bartender and drinks often. It often feels, however, that when people find out I don’t drink, that they assume I’m judging them if they choose to. Maybe that’s just me projecting my hangups and insecurities, though. But, congrats, and I’m proud of you, too, for whatever that’s worth!
Everything I like to do requires some degree of brainpower. One drop of alcohol and the rest of the day is shot.
