Mike Dulak grew up Catholic in Southern California, but by his teen years, he began skipping Mass and driving straight to the shore to play guitar, watch the waves and enjoy the beauty of the morning. “And it felt more spiritual than any time I set foot in a church,” he recalled.

Nothing has changed that view in the ensuing decades.

“Most religions are there to control people and get money from them,” said Dulak, now 76, of Rocheport, Missouri. He also cited sex abuse scandals in Catholic and Southern Baptist churches. “I can’t buy into that,” he said.

  • assassin_aragorn@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    85
    ·
    1 year ago

    I think the only thing we lose is community – I’m jealous that religious people automatically have that.

    The solution of course is trying to return to having neighborhood communities.

    • cjthomp@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      51
      ·
      1 year ago

      Join a bowling league.

      Do anything every week with the same group and you’ll establish that same community…but without the grifting and shaming.

      • mechoman444@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        1 year ago

        Exactly I started playing pool at a local hall right by my house. Great way of meeting new people.

        Getting out and doing stuff in public is a great way of communicating.

      • SourWeasel@lemmy.today
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        1 year ago

        Sounds great, but the local bowling alley in my rural redneck town was just sold and converted to a community church. 🫤

        • Honytawk@lemmy.zip
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          1 year ago

          Go bowl down the isle of that church.

          Not like they need it on any day except Sundays.

          • SourWeasel@lemmy.today
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            1 year ago

            Actually, I quite like the idea of secretly setting up some pins and rolling the ball down the aisle on a Sunday.

      • Resonosity
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        1 year ago

        Love the idea here, but I wonder if there could be an alternative to religion/churches that still allows us to congregate and deliberate about meaningful, philosophical affairs that religion poked and prodded at.

        I know The Satanic Temple seeks to do this in a way, but I wonder if our universities and colleges held more opportunities to engage with the general public on meta/physics, epistemology, ethics, etc., topics also challenged by religion, we might fill the rational void people might be seeking.

    • callouscomic@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      32
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      I’m telling you from experience that their “community” is fake. The people are fake. Under the fake stuff that looks nice on the outside is a deep culture of judgment and shame and fear. It’s not any community I would ever want. Like family get together for family’s that hate each other but they fake it.

      To those who will try to tell me “well not ME or MY church.” I don’t care and I don’t believe you. I have been harmed too much too consistently by these groups.

        • Chr0nos1@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          arrow-down
          2
          ·
          1 year ago

          Like posting an unpopular opinion on Reddit or Lemmy. You’ll get down voted to hell if your opinion differs from the majority in that sub.

          • assassin_aragorn@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            1 year ago

            That’s just unpopular opinions, and I’ve made plenty of those before. It’s very different from doing something that my community thinks is a cosmic sin that will send me to hell.

            • Vampiric_Luma
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              1 year ago

              I’m struggling to see how it’s different. Could you iterate a bit more? I’m a bit slow but I like learning :(

              • assassin_aragorn@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                2
                ·
                1 year ago

                Of course. It’s the nature of the disagreement. And unpopular opinion about random topics is just an unpopular opinion. People will see me as an idiot, ignorant, or stupid. They may think I have questionable morals or priorities. But that’s it. I’m just another stupid person on the Internet. I can have some of these disagreements with friends where I have an unpopular opinion, but depending on the severity it’s inconsequential.

                With a sin though, I’ve done something that goes against God’s word and rules. If I don’t ask for forgiveness, I will be eternally punished for it. Disagreements here are disagreements on what God says, which is heresy.

                Does that make more sense?

      • Mog_fanatic@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        8
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        There are for sure exceptions to this. But by and large this is absolutely spot on in my experience. It feels like getting together with paid actors that are hired to be your friend or sell you sometime in the end sometimes.

      • kshade@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        1 year ago

        Under the fake stuff that looks nice on the outside is a deep culture of judgment and shame and fear.

        Funny, that’s what Christianity seems to be mostly about anyway.

    • rrrurboatlibad@lemdro.id
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      9
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      1 year ago

      Try Humanism. Find your local chapter. Its the community of “church” without the need for god(s)

    • Resonosity
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      The solution could be more rooted in philosophy too, but it’s been a long time, at least since the time of the Greeks or Romans, since we’ve had Schools dedicated to the deliberation of meta/physics, ethics, epistemology, etc.

      And I’m not talking about modern education here, the education that’s meant to bring up the youth and develop them into functioning adults. The Greek/Roman Schools to me seemed like places of conversation, debate, etc. that anyone could join (I know that philosophy was mostly restricted to the aristocracy in ancient times, but that would be the goal today).

      Maybe the answer is modern schools today, but with an effort to host local communities for thought discourse. Maybe it would look like wrapping together TED Talks with the minds of debates you see in New York that are like full blown events.

      And maybe universities do deliver this kind of activity for their community that I nor you have access to because they’re not near us. Dunno.

      • assassin_aragorn@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        1 year ago

        I think another aspect to consider is that after the pandemic, multigenerational homes have become more common. There could be a really great sense of community in having a bunch of large families raise their children as a village.

    • rainynight65@feddit.de
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      Ah yes, that sense of ‘community’ that only manifests when they all sit in their church, and vanishes the moment they all get back home.

      I get more of a sense of community out of my model railway forums and my live steam club.

    • They really don’t. I grew up Evangelical, trust me, community was the last thing on those people’s minds. Granted, I understand where you’re coming from; there should be more communal spaces that don’t have religion as a requirement.