What we need now is an Argon Crystal laser. See an Argon Crystal laser can pierce thick space hulls in a way that other lasers just can’t. Send your money now.
I heard that one 10, 12 years ago and I assume older folks have heard it before that.
Damn near 20 years ago now, Kenneth Copeland and his extended family of Prosperity Gospel grifters. Fuck him, fuck Creflo Dollar, Jesse Duplantis, Keith Moore, Benny Hinn, Todd White, and anyone I might have forgotten to mention.
joel olsteen too.
Oh yeah, double-fuck him. Locking his church’s doors during a hurricane to keep people from taking refuge in it is straight up anti-Christ.
I generally assume when Jesus was decrying the perils of wealth, and telling dumb rich people to go sell their shit… he had a cheesy car salesman grin and a hand out, maybe muttered something like “let me help you with that “,
Why assume that? He literally says to give the proceeds to the poor. Matthew 19:21
Because he’s already a charlatan grifting the poor and desperate for cash.
Kinda fucked up to draw that conclusion from him telling a rich guy to give it all to the poor. Not to him, directly to the poor.
The problem isn’t Christ’s doctrine, it’s the endless lineage of grifters twisting it to take the money for themselves.
Sorry, I side with the fig tree. Show me a christian church without massive sin.
On that we can agree. It is my understanding that the only true “church” is just the collective population of believers, and that establishments/organizations of religion are anathema to Christ’s teachings.
How is a collective different from an organization?
Except I’m not drawing it exclusively from one verse.
I’m drawing that conclusion from an understanding of both his nature, and literally that of every other charlatan.
He was faking miracles in order to grift people out of their hard-earned money. Further more, it’s quite clear by the same accounts in the gospels that Jesus did not in fact have any beef with rich people, per se, and often enjoyed the benefits wealth brought. (i.e. by staying in their homes.)
There’s no reason to imagine Jesus was any better than any other faith-healing grifter.
And lets be perfectly clear here, those gospels also say he said he’d return and do the whole messiah thing, the final judgement, all that, before all of the disciples would have died. that clearly has not happened.
Ah, I can see how you’d interpret the situation that way, if you suppose fake miracles were involved. I’m not convinced there were any miracles, real or fake, rather than such things being added to the account later by charlatans to lend legitimacy to their claims.
Anyone claiming to be the messiah would have had to do miracles. It was basically how a messiah would validate his claims and not get, you know, stoned and left in a ditch somewhere. (and getting people to follow him as he massed an army to make a go at the whole World Domination thing.) the only reason we really know about him at all is because he annoyed the romans enough they got involved. (and that was less about jesus and more that the romans didn’t like locals doing their own executions. leaving bodies in ditches is very untidy, and in any case, executions were subject to roman approval, even if Herod could have ordered it.)
In point of fact, the roman occupation and oppression made such messages very very attractive to people. Which, uh. made them very easy to scam. which made grifters pretending to be the messiah and scamming them rather common. Simon bar Giora, John of Giscala, Menehem ben Judas all come to mind.
Just like people claiming Trump is the antichrist is compelling to certain segments today.
None of what Jesus is recorded as teaching is even all that new. People have been saying that people should be basically decent. But what that meant to Jesus was something rather different than what it means to us. We read far too much of our modern understanding of things into the gospels. Jesus literally had more to say about paying taxes to oppressors than he did about slavery- and yet, slavery was such a common institution that he would have seen it daily.
He would have seen slaves on a near-daily, especially after going into Jerusalem; yet never once dd he say anything about it. never once did he go to a slave market and start flipping tables.
Suffice it to say, that if there was a historical Jesus, he was an ironage charlatan who was saying what people wanted to hear, in order get money from them. And you’ll notice, they kept moving around? yeah. That’s so the people that gave money and didn’t get healed couldn’t find them.
if there wasn’t a historical Jesus… then whoever came up with all that shit is just as bad, and just as much charlatans. (and they too were faking miracles, supposedly.)
Those gospels were all written well after his death. They’re probably about as accurate as George Washington chopping down the cherry tree.
Mythicism doesn’t paint any better of a picture of whoever came up with the “teachings”.
Either way, whoever started it was scamming people. (I would suggest Paul was from the get go, too, even if Jesus was real.)
That said, if Jesus was real and he claimed to be a messiah, then he would have been expected to do miracles to prove it. So if the most basic part of his claim is true, he’d have had to do a little sumth’n sumth’n
The poor.
Not the opportunistic.
Yes, that is what Jesus says in the verse I referenced.
Of course he will next say that God needs him to have access to his followers’ wives and daughters. That is pretty much the standard with cults.
That’s usually first on the list.
Pretty dumb god if he doesn’t even look at oil prices before saying this
FBI should loan him one of theirs and have agents as pilots or something
You misspelled “profit”
God needs you to send me money. I take PayPal, zelle, check, cash, venmo, Amazon and visa gift cards.
Sorry, I only have Biblecoin.
Get him a RC plane looking like a jet. Then, if he seems unhappy with it, call him out as an ungrateful heretic. Proceed to throw rocks towards his head. God gave you a jet mf”er, WTH is the problem? It is what Jesus would do. Be like Jesus.
Pretty sure if God needed that, He could make it happen without needing people to make donations.
Assuming He exists, of course.
Last I checked, I thought having such expensive luxuries would absolutely be following the sin of greed. Last I checked, God doesn’t give out orders to commit sins.
Then again, I would expect these stereotypical Christian devil worshipers disguised as prophets to swindle common folk to worship false prophets and idols so if Satan ever tries to invade Heaven they’ll have way more unwilling slaves.
I also need that! C’mon god! Let us win the lotto so I can have my private jet! And two beautiful women wearing almost nothing who are madly in love. And a guy who drives my vehicles and has a very large reproductive organ. Hey! He’s driving away with my ladies!
Forget it! Asshole!
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