I noticed that it is impossible to hold it back indefinitely and I break down once a month or once every 2 weeks and no, this is not what you might have thought, this is different, but I don’t know if it is worth saying what it is with me, since I am not sure that the post will not be deleted for this. For example, the desire to beat the walls until you break your arms.
This.
The weird stuff in my experience is due to past crap you haven’t processed, current crap you can’t get away from because you’re a minor or disabled or don’t have a job with money, or a mental thing you’ve not discovered the right way to deal with. OCD for example can give people bad intrusive thoughts about terrible things they nonetheless would never do, it’s not about being a neat freak like pop culture thinks.
Talking with someone can help.
Personally, I’m a writer and there’s supposedly evidence out there that bibliotherapy can help.
Doesn’t it only work if someone reads your books or writings because of the person’s function as a transfer of experience and information or something similar? Otherwise, the brain considers it a waste of energy, and you may become apathetic or depressed?
As an anecdote to attach to the OCD part - My intrusive thoughts can revolve around sex and it gets insanely uncomfortable and drives me into deep depressions that have gotten actionable at times.
Therapy is the way
Depending on the circumstances, sometimes it may not be therapy that is needed, but something different.