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realitista@lemmus.org to Star Trek @lemmy.worldEnglish · 8 days ago

He just sits his ass down on all those buttons- he may or may not be firing lasers out into space

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He just sits his ass down on all those buttons- he may or may not be firing lasers out into space

lemmus.org

realitista@lemmus.org to Star Trek @lemmy.worldEnglish · 8 days ago
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  • Phoenixz
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    6 days ago

    lasers

  • Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf
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    6 days ago

    Firing lasers with his ass.

  • TallonMetroid@lemmy.world
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    8 days ago

    Nah, see, Federation has advanced haptic systems that can tell it’s a butt and therefore not valid input.

    • realitista@lemmus.orgOP
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      8 days ago

      What about the guest aliens with hand-butt?

      • Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de
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        8 days ago

        Galaxy-class is probably like that fancy BMWs with personalized automatic seat- and driving-wheel-adjustments and driver-specific preferred settings for Ul and entertainment-center…

      • TallonMetroid@lemmy.world
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        8 days ago

        Well, that’s just another opportunity for the crew to have some personal growth in resolving the misunderstanding.

    • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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      7 days ago

      I don’t think that’s what haptic means…

    • Aerosol3215@piefed.ca
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      7 days ago

      ADS… Ass detection system.

    • Freefall@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      Or fingerprint reading for every button press.

  • Vathsade
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    8 days ago

    Riker’s butt already did it:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMHAZwR-BdQ

    • realitista@lemmus.orgOP
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      8 days ago

      I knew it!

  • Tippon@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    8 days ago

    Data’s in the background trying to figure out why they just destroyed the mining colony, and realising it’s those damned organics and their mating rituals again.

  • MurrayL@lemmy.world
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    8 days ago

    If my 2023 tablet can tell the difference between my palm and my fingers, I’m willing to believe a critical control surface on a 2360s starship knows a butt when it sees one.

    • lobut
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      8 days ago

      You’re saying they have cheek rejection in the future?

      • Billegh@lemmy.world
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        6 days ago

        Cheek and taint!

      • notabot@piefed.social
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        8 days ago

        After the third or fourth unfortunate “accidental discharge” incident it was deemed wise to implement a comprehensive butt rejection protocol on all control panels.

  • mech@feddit.org
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    8 days ago

    She looks like she wouldn’t mind him shooting his torpedo at her.

    • errer@lemmy.world
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      8 days ago

      Lower the rear deflector shield 👁️👄👁️

  • TrackinDaKraken@lemmy.world
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    8 days ago

    The ship knows exactly who is where and what their intent is. The buttons are only needed because a direct brain-computer link would drive the computer insane.

    • betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
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      8 days ago

      The ship knows where he is by knowing where he isn’t.

    • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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      8 days ago

      Why do they even need Data? It seems like in episodes where they really make use of the ships computer (like the one where Dr Crusher is stuck in a collapsing universe) the computer is just as effective. Also when they are doing NCIS style enhance on an image or something.

      • MotoAsh@piefed.social
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        8 days ago

        They cannot beam the computer down to planets, and also Data has a lot of character driven stories that wouldn’t work with the ship. The ship definitely doesn’t care to be more human like or to create art.

      • teslekova@sh.itjust.works
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        7 days ago

        Why do they need any crew member? Just send the ship off by itself!

        Except that the entire point is for the crew to go out and look around themselves. They’re not just serving a function, they’re explorers. And so is Data.

  • Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de
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    8 days ago

    Integrated butt-recognition and -suppression.

  • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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    8 days ago

    Hes probably raining down a barrage of Photon Torpedos onto whatever stupid planet they are orbiting. Who probably deserves it for whatever stupid reason the enterprise had to come visit them to help with in the first place. Like “oh our corrupt political system has us at war with eachother” or “our sun is about to explode.” Cry about it some more.

  • lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com
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    7 days ago

    Didn’t Jonathan Frakes often lean due to back injuries?

    • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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      7 days ago

      yea, thats why he has the meme of him straddling a chair, or leaning on parts of the bridge.

  • manxu@piefed.social
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    8 days ago

    Ass-controlled space lasers? Are you trying to summon MTG?

    • realitista@lemmus.orgOP
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      8 days ago

      If I can get her within range of the lasers then sure. Will be very fitting- hoisted by her own petard.

  • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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    7 days ago

    Ok, let’s assume they are capacitive touch. I think they may have made safe for sitting pants by then.

    • NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone
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      7 days ago

      They could have had an episode where Data feels left out because he can’t do any of the consoles.

      • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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        7 days ago

        Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t data have non silicone skin?

        • gnuplusmatt@reddthat.com
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          7 days ago

          Bioplast which is probably biological plastic?

          • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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            7 days ago

            I’m going to be honest. I tried hitting that link on my phone, and it brought up a site that was less than friendly to my VPN/ad blockers.

            • gnuplusmatt@reddthat.com
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              7 days ago

              yeah fandom sucks, but it is the best star trek wiki, content wise

              • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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                7 days ago

                Oh you were talking about the site. My bad homie.

              • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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                7 days ago

                This ain’t about fandoms my man’s.

                • gnuplusmatt@reddthat.com
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                  7 days ago

                  my adblocker takes out the worst of it, so I dunno to what you’re referring

                  spoiler

    • realitista@lemmus.orgOP
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      7 days ago

      You know what they say happens when you assume things.

      • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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        7 days ago

        Class out, ass out!

  • resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

  • lath@piefed.social
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    8 days ago

    That’s how he flirts with the ship computer.

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