Do you find this form of venting helpful? My wife and I just had a talk about reducing the amount that we make statements like yours, as they’re ultimately just feeding into a cycle of reactionary politics. A friend of ours, who is a man (and trans, not that it should matter) was uncomfortable due to such statements, despite obvious hyperbole (though I can’t say for sure whether you’re being hyperbolic or not). When you break it down, it’s just more gender essentialism, and impossible to back up, without being either obviously exaggerated, or overtly transphobic/homophobic via exceptions. In women’s only spaces, or between trusted individuals, I don’t think these statements are harmful, but in shared spaces they lead to discomfort, guilt, and insecurity. I want men to be aware of their privilege, not to make people that already have my back and do check their privilege feel any personal fault for the gender they align with.

I could break into the entire territory of performative gender, but I don’t think these statements necessarily align with the gender essentialist beliefs they imply when followed to their logical conclusion. I’m genuinely interested in your perspective, as I’ve had this conversation several times now with other women with various perspectives, and my personal perspective has shifted several times. I’d be curious if you, like myself and my wife, use it as a method of hyperbolic venting, or literally, or as a litmus test for the wrong sort of men, or whatever other reasons you have. Do you feel justified in making them, or do you make them in defiance against an unjust society regardless of their actual justification?

I hope this doesn’t come across as personal criticism. I hold my own beliefs, but I constantly update and change those, so I know my views have flaws and don’t presume any authority over your views formed from your own very different experiences.

Incredible that if I had said this but about a woman I would be the one in the wrong lol

Ouch.