I’d say “may you live in interesting times” but some fucker already cursed us all with that one.

How old exactly is that one? I can attest to it not being new in 1972. But it could actually be as old as the Great Pyramid for all I know.

May your tongue stick to the roof of your mouth with the force of a thousand caramels

Fine I’ll stop drinking directly out of the milk carton. Now just fucking chill out Ryan.

I hope your asshole grows tastebuds.