WASHINGTON—Warning that the highly suspicious individuals constituted a threat to the country’s safety and cultural unity, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security announced plans Monday to create a national registry of Duolingo users. “For unknown reasons, there are people in this country attempting to learn foreign languages ranging from Italian to Japanese, and we need […]
Congratulations, we see you have learned French, so now you qualify for immediate and forceful relocation to Cameroon!
Well, shit. I was hoping for Tahiti.
I heard it was a magical place…
A place where the beer flows like wine, and the women flock like the wild salmon of Capistrano.
Wait. Nope, sorry- I’m thinking of Aspen, not Tahiti.
More likely they would be telling white women learning other languages in preparation to emigrate elsewhere that they aren’t allowed to leave the country as they are now property.