I’ll start. I watched every minute of Francis Ford Coppola’s “Megalopolis”.

Just finished… it made me think of this topic.

  • Goldholz@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    3 hours ago

    Porn, volunteering for modeling for drawings at universitys nude and none nude, acting on stage, playing in a Philharmonic orchestra

    • Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.comOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      2 hours ago

      Quite a resume. You have many talents. A good-looking musician I’d say.

      Would you recommend your path to others just setting out on their journey?

      • Goldholz@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        edit-2
        2 hours ago

        Hahahahahaha no :D Especially not the porn part. Especially not why and how i slid down and that i am still fighting the addictions that i got threw porn acting

        Also i have only recently turned 22 with that resume

        But the musician, getting comfortable with your body (threw exposure not neccisary) defenetly reccomend checking it out atleast

        • Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.comOP
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          edit-2
          2 hours ago

          I know about fighting addictions and getting clean, so all the best there friend. I’ll pray for you (really) because that’s a big thing you’re doing.

          Being comfortable with yourself is something most people don’t have, so finding that at 22 is really great! You are special and worthy and deserve to be taken care of. Life is full of changes, ups and downs, and you’ve already had some downs, so expect some ups!

          Protect yourself, and be careful out there.

          • Goldholz@lemmy.blahaj.zone
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            1 hour ago

            When one is at their lowest point, they are open for the biggest changes. Cant loose much if you dont have much to loose yk. Been there more than 5 times.

            While it is always great to realise once own wrong doing in the past, it is important to forgive yourself. What happened happened, it can not be undone, so why keep occupied with it. Learn from it, do better in the future, and move on.

            Scars from the past will never fade, yes, but dont spread the flame, be a wall, so no one has to wear the scars anymore, or atleast less people.

            It is easy to learn to like yourself once you have realised and accepted that the world is just a stage and you choose which role you play and that only your opinion about yourself counts. People that are putting you down, drop them, no matter how it hurts. There is no shame in a humble life with few to no people in your life. You cant influence what happens to you, and therefore you shouldnt mind and care about that. Only concern yourself about things that you can influence and do right now! You can influence your response to outside actions. So the things in your life and about yourself that you dont like, change them, these you can change.

            I dont need your prairs though, thank you.

            If i could give one advice to any future or current parents it would be this: Always make sure your kid knows you love it and dont work against it. Dont be dismissive and let it think it isnt save with you. NEVER HIT OR YELL AT YOUR KID! Give it the attention it needs, otherwise it WILL get the attention from others, others that are anything but good willed, I speak from experience. Many many years of experience of exactly that and more.

            And to all those that are going threw a terrible time, trust me, it will get better, dont turn to anger. There is a small slippery path from hate to self distrucction. Hate always leads to suffering.

            • Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.comOP
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              1 hour ago

              That was wisdom, hard-earned wisdom, the wisdom of the weathered rock. I loved this line:

              Scars from the past will never fade, yes, but dont spread the flame, be a wall, so no one has to wear the scars anymore, or atleast less people.

              I can’t believe you’re 22. Amazing.

              You’re right to handle things yourself, and you’ve worked your ass off, I’m sure, gone through so much alone. Jesus said, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” I’m sure you’ve felt that feeling so many times.

              I have no idea how you got healthy, how you got on your feet again. You have to be a very strong person. Your words are wise WAY beyond your years. You should be proud of yourself.

              • Goldholz@lemmy.blahaj.zone
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                2
                ·
                30 minutes ago

                Hahaha i indeed did, a lot. It even was one of the many reasons i am no longer religiouse in any way. But unlike most religiouse people and the catholic church, i am living the values of their religion unlike them.

                I myself have no idea how i am still alive, why i never with the knife on my wrists, standing on a cliff/bridge or having my head in a rope already and all it would have took was one small move, why i didnt do this small movement.

                All i know is, i somehow am still here, with a clear goal: Doing all in my power so no one has to suffer like i do

                But i am anything but healthy. Like i wrote, i am still fighting addictions that i got from the porn life, unlearning habits from the decades of abuse. I do not feel pride, but also no shame about it all. But it defenetly gives me confidence and reasurance. “I have been threw so much and gotten threw and out. I can withstand this too”

                The porn industrie isnt inherently evil. It is a job like any other, but it has a very high risk of quickly becoming hell and torment, without you even noticing. You just have to get to the wrong people and before you know it you are trapped and they have you dancing to their melodie