To repost what I said in c/intersex;

As a student of Japanese, most of your post is just flat-out incorrect. Futanari, the Rōmaji or Romanization of “ふたなり” comes from “二形” which I believe is either Chinese or just old Japanese. It means hermaphrodite, literally “two” and “form.” It was later picked up as a common trope name for hermaphroditic characters in erotic manga, typically seen as attractive women who possess both vulvae and penises. Yes, it has become a genre of pornography, but it is false to say it originated there.

However, it is a question of what the word means and how it is used. Most people who speak English know it as a porn category from manga like you said. However, I would like to strongly resist your statement that it describes someone who “looks feminine and has a penis.” The Japanese have a word for this: “トランスジェンダー” which is just “transgender.” It’s a loan word from English describing TRANSGENDER PEOPLE. While ふたなり (futanari) can be used to describe a transgender person, it would likely be seen as either woefully archaic or just incorrect. As in English, hermaphrodite describes someone with both sets of sexual organs. Futanari is the Japanese equivalent, more or less. Is hermaphrodite a slur for trans people? Not really. It’s a medical term, as old as the myth of Hermaphroditus, who is the namesake for the term. I presume futanari is just as old.

I think the rest of your arguments fall apart at this point. It’s not a “porn term,” it’s a term that was appropriated by porn. Claiming an entire word in Japanese is a slur because of its use in porn and it’s loan-word status in English is frankly a bit colonial. Beyond that, as a female-presenting intersex person with a reconstructed penis and a sewn-shut vulva, I have often times thought of myself as futanari. I like the word a lot better than hermaphrodite because of my religion, comparing oneself to a God is pretty fuckin’ disrespectful in my opinion. So, I like futanari.

So, with all that said, I disagree with you. I don’t think it’s a slur, and I use it to describe myself sometimes. I don’t know what other word I would use in Japanese to describe myself in that way. ふたなりです。