So, I’m in the frozen foods isle at the grocery store, and I see chicken marinara, I see ravioli, I see lasagna. And then I see stoffers spaghetti. No meatballs. Nothing else. Just noodles and sauce.

And I’m thinking to myself "Why the fuck would you pay $8 for a little self serving of spaghetti and sauce??? Do you people realize that it’s just noodles and sauce? Do you have ANY idea how much money you’re overpaying???

And it’s not even like it’s all that much easier. I’m a TERRIBLE cook. I know like 3 dishes, and they’re all dishes you probably expect a teenager to be able to cook. Spaghetti is one of them.

So I’m just looking at this package in the isle screaming in my own head WHY DO YOU EXIST??? YOUR EXISTENCE IMPLIES PEOPLE ARE BUYING YOU!!! WHO IS BUYING FROZEN NOODLES???

It was about this time, I had to admit to myself that I’m developing some serious anger management issues. Part of me wanted to just stand there, next to that door, and act as a bouncer for anyone who wanted to pick that item up. If they did, I was like “I should punch them!” and then my brain intervened and said “No, that’s a terrible idea.” And I said “But this is a terrible product!” Which made me argue back “Yes, but it’s not your fight. You can’t just go around punching people. What if an old lady picks it up? Are you going to pick a fist fight with an elderly woman?” and I yelled back, but without rationale. It was the magnetic bracelet incident all over again. Just letting people out there into the world, to make dumbass decisions without me policing their stupid behavior.

But apparently the police don’t think I’m a good enough of a judge to go punching stupid people. Somehow I’D be the one in the wrong! Pssh! Can you believe that? ME! The guy telling you that paying $8 for a handful of frozen spaghetti dictates that you get a punch, and that power bracelets are a scam. I’ll scam your face right here with my fist right now! How about that?!

Ugh! This is how we end up in the world we’re in. Where people are starving, because rich assholes thing they rule the world. And now, nazis are taking over. You see what happens when I don’t punch you guys? THIS shit happens. Where we sell spaghetti to poor people at inflated prices with reduced portion sizes. Meanwhile, the media is still too pussyfooted to call these assholes what it is! Nazis in the government, and punches need to be flying. Punch a nazi today I say! But nooooooooo! Can’t do that! That’s not legal!

What’s next? Selling ramen noodles at upscale restaurants with the flavor packet costing $20? It’s bad enough baseball games want to think that peanuts are some high priced luxury item! And now all these products, if you pay attention to the packaging, they will list bulk volume weight of what you’re getting. It’s shrinking.

Look at Luigi. He kills Brian Thompson, and suddenly, this mega corporation that’s in charge of healthcare pedals back on their decision to limit how much anesthesia they’ll cover in their policy. Not because of any shortage, or any decent reason why they’d have to limit it. They just thought “How can we profit even MORE???” and they thought “Well why waste the anesthesia on these plebs? Let’s not pay for that.”

Suddenly, Brian Thompson gets shot, and all the sudden they pedal back on that stance. People who would have had to go through surgery in pain suddenly had the anesthesia covered in their policy.

Now I’m not saying to go out and shoot the CEO of Doritos because the bag sizes shrink. Doritos bag sizes aren’t as important as affordable healthcare. I get that.

…but what about a good punch to the nose? If this CEO is walking around getting punched, but not killed, everywhere he goes, maybe suddenly those “Party Size” bags could actually be more than a slightly bigger than normal bag was in 2008.

And then there’s the spaghetti. Who’s at fault here? Is it the soulless corporation who makes no attempt to be a good person? Or is it the enabling public who lack any critical thinking skills whatsoever? And now with AI being shoved down our throat for the express intention to dull the general public’s critical thinking skills with each passing generation.

The republicans started this plan to make America dumber starting back with Nixon. And from here on out we as a society have become dumber and dumber and dumber. Now with AI, it’s going to get so much worse in 50 years.

That means humanity has reached it’s peak. It’s all downhill from here. It’s been going downhill for decades, and you think it’s bad now, and it is, but it’s about to take a fucking nosedive.

So yeah. I want to fight. Because I’ll be DAMNED if I sit by and let the boomers be remembered as the peak of humanity.