At first he was cool and would wash people’s cars and picking up animal poop from yards. But it turns out he wasn’t helpful. He was gathering materials and was stealing polluted dirt, piles of shit, and anything else he could find into grotesque golems that roam town and do his bidding. It’s unbearable to go to the market for some bread and milk only to discover the waste elemental made of animated shit and cigarette butts is there to get groceries for him. It’s a fucking nightmare and it makes me want to wear anti magic pendants to fuck up his errands - but that leaves behind unanimated filth that has to be moved by us mundanes. It’s so one sided it’s like tyranny.
Two birds, one stone. You have the cleanest town in the area for free, and he gets his groceries done. Do you know how many towns would kill for that?
Mine installs programs with easy to understand pop up prompts that replaces text files and filing.
I would like to know more
Sells
drugsherbs and potionsHe walks among us like anyone else, but when an opportunity comes along, he puts on his robe and wizard hat.
I haven’t seen him all week because he’s been pondering his orb.
Ours speaks in riddles but I’m really bad at riddles so I’m still unsure of why we hired him in the first place. The last town wizard conjured unspeakable entities and was really good at making balloon animals.
Unfreeze self checkouts
Oh def. Mine waves a fob and then hits some numbers, and usually waives whatever didn’t get scanned properly.
Shudders in visual source safe.
He arrives neither early or late, but precisely when he means to.
I’m getting sick of that excuse, Gandalf!
He’s SUCH a flake!
If only… I’m constantly late.
… except to parties since they don’t start until I arrive.
I make my switch run android and summon demons by not getting enough sleep
presumably when they’re in sub mode?
Crack
Bus shelter wizardry
Provides sick ass snacks for community sacrifice night
Compiling magic runes in the basem… I mean underground laboratory
I dont currently have a local wizard but our national wizard does rain dances and heckles evangelical preachers. He was on the city payroll for his services for 20 years until he got cancelled for making a spicy comment in a YouTube video.
Don’t worry though he trained an apprentice who carrying the torch and taking over local wizardry.
I love how the town subsidised his heckling until he went online with it. Probably drew the attention of the Council of Five, and then the town had to clean up their image
He just walks by, suddenly.
Casting his shadow, weaving his spell
I maintain the balance of the spheres, put pride into the hearts of gender bendy men with my badass skirts, and keep the database server up.
