2017 a few days before Christmas, dad kicked me out of the house :/

I always hate Christmas, so kind of all of them. My mom is a hoarder so it always starts with finding just enough space for that stupid tree. I’d just prefer to be alone in silence.

Maybe when I was a kid and got a new phone. I kind of can’t act happy spontaneously, so I just had this “looking happy and surprised” shit prepared. And it worked, rather too well. My dad insisted on recording me and then putting it on Facebook, and got mad at me because I disagreed with that. I think I just had to put up with it anyway.

2023 - He bought me some HP inkjet printer. I thanked him and explained I don’t need it, so that we could return it. Again, his usual speech about how useless he is, that he shouldn’t have been born, that he always wanted a happy family and never got that, “Other men beat their wives and kids and they still love them. I don’t, perhaps that’s where I made a mistake.” and he can’t be talked to at least until the next day.
Same goes with any disagreement, even stuff like when I don’t want to watch a movie with him.
My mom’s words of encouragement are that I am a heartless egoist like my father, that I should never get married, and how much I owe them because they gave me the gift of life. Former is likely true, I am a piece of shit indeed, but I didn’t decide to be born, they did that.

2022 - Just disappointing because I had better expectations.
It was Christmas Eve night already. I said I’ll take the trash out, but also secretly took my phone, OTG cable, USB extension cord, RTL-SDR and the extendable dipole antenna. I expected OK-ish pass of NOAA-15 and a great high elevation pass of Meteor M2. I thought I could have some fun on Christmas maybe.
Well, I got the APT and DSB from NOAA-15, but I couldn’t detect any signal from the Meteor. I’ve still seen what I think were Orbcomm sats, so it wasn’t fault in my setup.
Well, well, well. My luck - Meteor M2 has died earlier that day.
Bruh… What are the odds…

I’m predicting the upcoming Christmas is going to be, since it’s the first one I’m going to be in without access to a single loved one.

One year the entire family got a stomach flu over the Christmas holidays. The kids were around 3-6 years old and didn’t know to puke in a bucket in the night; they just vomited all over the bedsheets each time. We nearly ran out of sheets and had to load the washing machine in the middle of the night to keep up, while taking breaks to puke and shit. My diarrhea was so bad that my blood pressure dropped while sitting on the toilet, so immediately after dropping a load I had to lie down on the floor to avoid passing out, only to pull myself up seconds later to puke in the (now diarrhea-filled) toilet bowl. Meanwhile I hear the kids crying and puking outside and my then wife being pissed that I’m not helping.

Probably the one where my dad died two days before Xmas. The upside was being last minute invited into my extended family’s celebrations. After spending two days in hospitals, in shock and mourning walking into a warm, cheery home with food and love will always be a cherished memory in what was otherwise the worst episode of my life.

I had a really bad panic attack and had to go to the hospital. I was stuck there for 8+ hours and it just sucked

When I’d contracted the flu… I’d forgotten to get my flu shot that year, hard lesson learned!!

My grandfather would regularly mess up managing his diabetes nearly every Christmas we spent with him and end up in a diabetic rage. I honestly couldn’t recount any single one of his diabetic rages because they’ve all kind of congealed together in my head over time.

Three parts that stand out though:

• One of the rages was set off because he couldn’t find the pen he had been using to track his blood sugar levels (he liked to use one pen from new to dried out) so he had to use a new one.
• One of them, my father had to step between my grandfather and my mother and stare my grandfather down because my grandfather was fixing to beat my mother.
• One of them, someone in the family called the police on my grandfather because of his shit.

Those may have been all the same incident, but I remember the rages happening on more than one Christmas.

It’s hard to square that shit with all the good memories I had with him. I’ve learned over the years that he was a shit father before he had grandkids too. But he was (excepting the diabetic rages) a good grandfather to me and my cousins.

Life can be weird like that.

My parrot died christmas morning 3 years ago

Probably watching the New York Time Square countdown in new year of 2021

Literally just empty, like some post-apocalyptic movie

made me have a mini-existential crisis

This one. So many uninvited guests… No one wants them here, but they have to complain about how I live for some reason. I’m not even sure there will be another one it’s so bad. I think we’ll end up blocking numbers and changing phones to avoid them, etc

Last year. We all got Covid when we were doing our shopping the week before and basically cancelled Xmas. Luckily we didn’t have lots of family or friends visiting but the three of us spent the whole time on various couches and beds either in a daze of fever or lethargy. I was the last to go down (and thankfully was the least hit) so managed to get the tree decorated and presents wrapped before the couch became my home. We managed to open presents on Boxing Day, for a hour, and then back to bed. The prime rib roast got chucked in the freezer, I honestly don’t remember what we ate during that time. It took the two weeks we had off to recover so the whole holiday was a bust.

This year we will be wearing masks EVERYWHERE we go next week.