• Firebirdie713@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    8 days ago

    This puts a lot of blame on trans men while simultaneously perpetuating the erasure we are constantly facing.

    I am a trans masc enby, but I have been on full dose testosterone for a decade, have had top surgery and a full hysterectomy. I am still routinely misgendered because T did not lower my voice enough to pass and I do not have enough facial hair, so people assume I am a woman with a hormone difference. This misgendering happens in person and over the phone, and my experience in this is fairly common among trans men.

    On top of that, any attempt we make to be more visible is often silenced because we are accused of taking space away from trans women. People will say ‘trans people’ and then talk about an experience that is pretty exclusive to trans women, and if we point it out, we are told to enjoy our male privilege and shut up. When we tried to put more focus on a trans man in sports who is being ostracized in a similar way (see Mack Briggs, who was forced to compete on the girls teams), then we are told that it “isn’t the same” as what trans women face, and that we should be grateful for the fact that his plight isn’t getting attention.

    We face the exact same kinds of issues that trans women face, but with almost none of the support. We have to fight to even be seen in most trans friendly spaces, which usually end up being more akin to “women and femme” spaces where masculine trans people are told that we aren’t welcome because we make people uncomfortable. Then, when we try to make our own spaces, we are accused of excluding trans women and being misogynists.

    All that to say: stop blaming trans men for the abuses that cis people perpetuate. We have our own struggles, and while we stand with the rest of the trans community, it is not our job to put ourself in more harm’s way to benefit others. We are here, we have always been here, and we would really appreciate people recognizing that it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows for us, and that we face just as many issues with a fraction of the support.

    • cowboycrustation [he/him]@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      8 days ago

      I’m a binary trans man. I haven’t expierenced the things that you’re talking about. I definitely agree that there’s a transfemme-centric point of view both on Lemmy and the wider trans discourse, but I have confronted that many times and people have always been open to listen to my expierence as a trans man.

      I’m sorry that people have treated you unkindly and invalidated your expierences in the past. That sucks. It doesn’t mean that’s a universal thing that trans men expierence, though.

    • Apytele@sh.itjust.works
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      8 days ago

      We need to stop erasing the existence of trans men =/= blaming trans men. You’re getting reactionary about something you don’t need to. It’s probably a trauma response, you’ve probably been blamed before. You’re not being blamed here and you need to stop looking for enemies within the trans community because it makes it much harder to fight the external ones.