Well, there was the time this dude yelled surprise and totally gave me unexpected buttsex.

Bad joke aside, I think the most “unexpected” instance that I’m willing to share was party sex.

I was dating this very sweet lady, back in the naughties. Tiny little thing, sweet as honey, but with plenty of bite.

Anyway, I go to a backyard barbecue with her. One of her friends is doing a whole pig, with fixins, and there ain’t no southern man can turn down pit smoked pig and call themselves respectable.

At some point after I win a party bet, we’re off to the side of things, me leaning against a tree, just kind of cuddled up vertically. She turns around and leans into me with her backside against my groin, while she’s talking to a friend. She eventually started laughing, which made her backside wiggle against me, and my body enjoyed it very much.

She turned her head and smiled at me, asking if that was for her. I kissed her neck and said it was hers any time she wants it. When her friend leaves, she turns around to face me and unzips my fly, and whispers in my ear that she has a surprise for me.

She pulled me out, then turned around again and slid onto me. No panties under the skirt. The height difference made it a bit awkward, but that was also a good thing since it meant it wasn’t obvious what was going on. It was just her on her tiptoes, slightly moving her rear against me, while squeezing me inside her.

It was a very intense thing. The surprise of it, the fact that people were all around us, if not exactly close, and the sheer shock of going from zero to sixty that fast (on my end anyway, she had been ready for a while), and it being one of the very rare instances of unprotected sex I had before I got married, it all added up to a highly memorable event.

Having to contain our reactions made it even more intense. When she came around me, and was basically shivering as it happened, it brought me as well. I damn near fell when my knees started shaking. It took us a bit, leaving heavy against the tree, and her against me to be able to move. But she tucked me back in and helped me zip back up before straightening her skirt and excusing herself to go clean up.