• eezeebee
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    1 year ago

    “Do you smell that? I can’t figure out where it’s coming from!”

  • HR_Pufnstuf@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    You wouldn’t have a chance, HR would have been notified instantly, because that’s creepy A.F.

  • ᴇᴍᴘᴇʀᴏʀ 帝@feddit.uk
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    1 year ago

    It depends. Did you, sorry, your friend, get caught sniffing a single seat or is there CCTV footage of them sniffing a lot of seats (presumably all the women in the office). The former is easier to get away with than, say, being caught licking a bicycle seat, just say your pen rolled under the desk and you were on your hands and knees by the chair fishing for it. If it’s the latter then walk out immediately, then drive a truck laden with gas canisters into the front of the building and throw a Molotov cocktail at it in the hole that the explosion and fire would destroy any evidence and anyone who saw it.

  • BrooklynMan@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    by getting it surgically altered. I could never show the old face ever again.

    also, moving and changing my name.

    yikes

  • Zoift [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    If you couldn’t bullshit out of that in in moment, you’re not getting away with it now. Go work in a theater.

  • Cybermass@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I would probably just kill myself out of embarrassment tbh, to a seppuku thing because I have dishonored myself

  • saigot
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    1 year ago

    Someone round the office has been ripping extremely distinctive aweful farts and I need to discover who in order to stop them