• MystikIncarnate
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      1 month ago

      My partner and I are on year 8? I think? Neither of us care about anniversaries or any of that stuff, so we lose track often.

      We just fit. We rarely disagree, and when we disagree, we’re civil about it. There’s no yelling and screaming about who is right.

      It’s genuinely co-op mode, and we pair up to get stuff done regularly, but when no co-op is required, we just keep living our lives, together.

      So I put a ring on it. Planning to sign the papers next year to make it official.

      • Fredselfish@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        Going on 11 years here. Though we sometimes disagree, but that is rare to the bliss we find in one another. And yes she is my best friend and lover.

      • Firestorm Druid@lemmy.zip
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        1 month ago

        Congratulations! It’s very much the same for us here. We do get into occasional arguments but it’s usually either very minute and unimportant things or it’s just a misunderstanding that get solved easily.

        Our anniversary this year was also very low-key - I think we didn’t even gift each other anything (super noteworthy) . We used to go crazy in our first few years but we just appreciate and value our time together

        • MystikIncarnate
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          1 month ago

          I’ve long said that how you handle arguments will make or break a relationship (whether romantic or not).

          The fact is, if either person gets too emotionally invested in a viewpoint, and they won’t let go of that emotion, then it’s doomed to failure. If that happens regularly or all the time, it will easily condemn the relationship.

          Respecting other people viewpoint, acknowledging their viewpoint, and most importantly, exercising active listening even to things you don’t agree with, is paramount, and the foundation on which you can build a functional compromise that satisfies everyone involved.

          Compromise is an important part of it, but the key factor is how you handle the difficulties. If you’re bad at brainstorming and problem solving, then arguments and breakups will happen. Most people want to be heard, so active listening, especially for someone you care deeply about, is a major part of the equation.