“I like my coffee BLACK ‘cause I’m a MAN and I equate popular things that I don’t like with WEAKNESS because…because I’m deathly afraid that if I enjoy something different and fun that I might need to engage in real introspection and I’m scared about what I might find.”
Bro, I drink coffee black(I don’t really love coffee in any form, though, I’m more of a tea or hot chocolate person). It’s my thoughts about people who get all bunched up over people woth weird opinions about pumpkin spice and stuff.
It’s a jab at people who foam at the mouth whenever they get mad that someone is having more fun than they are despite being totally allowed to also do the thing if it weren’t for whatever trauma they’re not dealing with.
I drink my coffee black, too, I just don’t do it because I think I’m a manly-man. It’s actually because I hate the texture of milk or cream and the sugar, to my taste, just exists beside the coffee instead of sweetening it so it’s always awful. I don’t even like coffee that much so it makes no difference either way.
While yes, the black coffee fetishists are ridiculous too, Pumpkin Spice Latte is the "Bacon everything is my life!“ dead horse of the 2010s and 2020s that people without anything funny or otherwise interesting to say just WILL NOT shut up about!
It’s fine to like a beverage. More power to you for knowing what you like.
However, it’s only funny or otherwise interesting to make a beverage your personality if it’s Tab and you’re Brian Posehn’s character in The Sarah Silverman Program.
It really is quite easy to ignore them. I’ve been able to do a stellar job at it, but I also find that it’s really easy since I’ve never met a single person in my entire damned life who likes it to the point where I feel the need to take some kind of action. Yes, sometimes a friend explains that they like pumpkin spice and that is not a crime. It’s good because then if I ever get them something I’ll know what they like.
Yes, you said people can like things. You also made it pretty clear that if you ever hear them excited about the thing they like you’ll label them as annoying and then the rest of your nonsense comment kicks in.
Oh, and the bacon thing was a deliberate ad/propoganda campaign by the pork industry and it’s likely that 90% of what you saw as fervor was really just an advertisement. The rest is because, and I know this might seem crazy, bacon is pretty good and people like it.
You also made it pretty clear that if you ever hear them excited about the thing they like you’ll label them as annoying
Nope. That only happened in your mind.
the bacon thing was a deliberate ad/propoganda campaign
I’m aware. I’m also aware that that’s also how the manufactured psl craziness started. As a Starbucks ad campaign that went viral and then, with the help of everyone from your neighbor to the local news anchor to live nationwide tv became the Kardashians of coffee.
![It's out there. Lurking. Waiting to strike [Comiclicious]](https://lemmus.org/pictrs/image/ece45cad-5eef-4e71-a436-94c4dae10e23.webp){kind=link}
I am so much more tired of people trotting this joke out every year than I ever was of pumpkin spice.
“I like my coffee BLACK ‘cause I’m a MAN and I equate popular things that I don’t like with WEAKNESS because…because I’m deathly afraid that if I enjoy something different and fun that I might need to engage in real introspection and I’m scared about what I might find.”
Is this what you think of when people drink black coffee? Seems like a lot to unpack.
You completely missed the point.
Bro, I drink coffee black(I don’t really love coffee in any form, though, I’m more of a tea or hot chocolate person). It’s my thoughts about people who get all bunched up over people woth weird opinions about pumpkin spice and stuff.
Don’t get your knickers in a knot.
I drink my coffee black because… Wait is espresso considered black? Well whatever
It’s a jab at people who foam at the mouth whenever they get mad that someone is having more fun than they are despite being totally allowed to also do the thing if it weren’t for whatever trauma they’re not dealing with.
I drink my coffee black, too, I just don’t do it because I think I’m a manly-man. It’s actually because I hate the texture of milk or cream and the sugar, to my taste, just exists beside the coffee instead of sweetening it so it’s always awful. I don’t even like coffee that much so it makes no difference either way.
While yes, the black coffee fetishists are ridiculous too, Pumpkin Spice Latte is the "Bacon everything is my life!“ dead horse of the 2010s and 2020s that people without anything funny or otherwise interesting to say just WILL NOT shut up about!
It’s fine to like a beverage. More power to you for knowing what you like.
However, it’s only funny or otherwise interesting to make a beverage your personality if it’s Tab and you’re Brian Posehn’s character in The Sarah Silverman Program.
Shhhhh let people enjoy things. Also, very few people are even like that and you can avoid them so easily.
That was part of what I said 🤦
That’s simply not true.
It really is quite easy to ignore them. I’ve been able to do a stellar job at it, but I also find that it’s really easy since I’ve never met a single person in my entire damned life who likes it to the point where I feel the need to take some kind of action. Yes, sometimes a friend explains that they like pumpkin spice and that is not a crime. It’s good because then if I ever get them something I’ll know what they like.
Yes, you said people can like things. You also made it pretty clear that if you ever hear them excited about the thing they like you’ll label them as annoying and then the rest of your nonsense comment kicks in.
Oh, and the bacon thing was a deliberate ad/propoganda campaign by the pork industry and it’s likely that 90% of what you saw as fervor was really just an advertisement. The rest is because, and I know this might seem crazy, bacon is pretty good and people like it.
Nope. That only happened in your mind.
I’m aware. I’m also aware that that’s also how the manufactured psl craziness started. As a Starbucks ad campaign that went viral and then, with the help of everyone from your neighbor to the local news anchor to live nationwide tv became the Kardashians of coffee.
Finally you’re speaking sense.
You know what never gets old? Pumpkin spiced lattes.
You know what does get old? Jokes about pumpkin spiced lattes.