Everyone generalizes 4chan when in reality they’re usually talking about the people that browse /b/.

4chan can be a wholesome place in the right boards.

happens more than you might think. 4chan is a weird unique place. it’s mostly unmoderated, which makes it the default locale for a lot of unsavory people tossed out of all the nice clubs. but it’s not ONLY the unsavory people (the worst of which tend to keep to themselves anyway)

mostly, the result of the low level of moderation and lack of personal control over what you see (no “feeds” or anything, it’s just a plain forum) is that you see a lot of people “raw”.

they have no account attached to their posts, certainly no real identity. can this make shitty people feel emboldened to say shitty things? yes. can it lead to surprisingly meaningful moments of actual vulnerability between people who have no reason to hide? yes that too.

most of the non-extremist users of the site are, I think, people who prefer and engage with the latter, while just scrolling past the cringe edgy teenagers and dollar tree nazis thinking they have a secret club.

it is hard to find this kind of honesty and depth on other social media sites. reddit was a bit closer than the rest for a while when they had a very liberal registration policy (email didn’t even need to be verified so throwaway accounts were common and accessible) but I think they’ve cracked down on that a bit in the name of ad profile profitability. even having an account that can “be found” by people you know or future friends you meet on the site can keep you from being willing to be totally open. on low-moderation anonymous forums like 4chan, there’s no reason to worry about your “persona” or reputation. in fact, users who seek either tend to be universally ridiculed for it and told to return to other vapid sites.

it also has a reputation for its users being, um, generally some kind of neurodivergent. I think this is because of the very low quantity of social rules that have any consequence. social rules are exhausting, easier to just stay quiet past a certain point.

I got this kind of support from my parents nearly 20 years ago. It was absolutely lucky and I got access and care in ways others didn’t. It made me feel guilty the older I got and the more trans friends I made, who didn’t have anything close to what I had. I feel very sad about it. My life wasn’t perfect, I still have problems, but probably way fewer than the alternative.

In my day to day life I try to make up for it by helping other trans people. I become the support that I always had. It’s not as easy as it looks. Hope you’re doing well and I wish for you and others reading this to find support where you can get it. I know I’m trying to pay it forward. And so will others. Look for the helpers.

My mom is a junkie, having a relationship with her is pointless. You don’t owe your progenitors shit.

I am going to err on the side of positivity and say that it isn’t so rare. At least, not anymore and when it comes to LGBTQ+. All parents fuck up because nobody knows what the fuck they are doing, but the key is to mot let your hang-ups injure your child. I think a lot of parents have been taking on that challenge for some time now.

Good man.