Job: Welder

Customer: “Hey I need a welder to fix the railing at my business.”

Me: “OK, I can start work after you close for the day.”

Customer: “Oh no, I’m not staying late. I need you to fix it during business hours.”

Me: “OK then, it’s dangerous work so I’ll need to rope off the area and erect screens to protect the general population from weld flash and grinder sparks.”

Customer: “Oh no, this walkway needs to stay open for customers during business hours.”

Me: “Again, this is dangerous work. Somebody is going to get hurt if they’re permitted to walk through the work area.”

Customer: “I don’t know why you’re being so difficult, just zap zap and you’re done.”

Me: “No, it’s going to take a lot of work. The railing is rusted through so entire sections need to be replaced. It also needs to be level, up to code, cleaned for safety reasons, support the weight of an average adult human, and painted to prevent corrosion. We’re talking multiple days of work and it’s not cheap.”

Customer: “Repairs are not in the budget, but I can spread the word and tell all my friends about you. I have almost two hundred followers on Facebook.”

Me: (silently gets up and walks away)

Customer: “Look at that, another lazy Millennial who doesn’t want to work. Typical. No wonder this nation is going down the crapper.”