Dear super earth citizens, I just completed a whole round against Automatons on Helldive difficulty and I’m traumatized. There were just so many bots everywhere. Helldivers were dying left and right. Sometimes multiple times in a minute.
But we made it, after making sure that the oil pumps are running and information was uploaded, we have spread democracy through annihilating bots. In the end there were just two of us left. Some helldivers never extracted, I wonder what was their fate.
I’m having trouble processing the things I’ve seen. Sometimes I wake up at night thinking another dropship has landed when a space car is flying past my bedroom.
Is there any psychological counseling available for veteran helldivers? I tried contacting my democracy officer but all he could offer to me was freedom camp, so I apologized for being undemocratic. Obviously posting this from a throwaway account but please let me know if there’s anything you’d suggest.
Greetings fellow Helldivers!
It sounds like you are experiencing a borderline anti-democratic lack of motivation. May I suggest seeing your Democracy Officer and requesting treatment via our Motivational Shock Booster program?
Hello roboto! Or should I say Super Earth Citizen CVH201? As a fellow veteran myself I can assure you that your life is in our best and most benevolent hands! Citizens who had to interrupt their freely chosen mandatory service for non-mortality or maiming related issues are eligible for a free and relaxing stay at one of our Freedom (registered trademark) hostels on the beautiful sand beaches of Hellmire! In fact, I have already signed you up for the 3 year program to show our gratitude for your sacrifice. A unit of civil enforcers will be with you shortly, so please stand by and await your pick-up in order to ensure the most express re-liberation of your service! Your’s sincerely, Elaine Oshaune, SEAF Freedom-recruitment
Thank you for identifying me and sending in qualified super earth personell to manage my recent undemocratic thoughts. I acknowledge that it was my own fault not covering my ears when the illegal broadcast I was supposed to destroy was still running. It was the fault of the communist, deeply anti-democratic automatons that spoiled my previously free mind. I have posted a public apology as suggested in order to maintain a healthy and free discussion culture in super earth.
Greetings Helldiver,
Thank you for raising this concern. Please do not worry about being considered Undemocratic and forward this to your Democracy Officer’s superior so that they may see to appropriate corrective action. This may include but is not limited to: an extended stay at Freedom Camp™, discounted implantation of a PavlovCo BellRinger™ neurostimulator, and/or mandatory participation in Bring Your Democracy Officer to Work Day, where they will have the privilege of fighting alongside the gallant members of the Helldiver Corps!
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a serious and well-documented problem known to impact combat veterans, as well as those who are victims of or witnesses to violence for just over 200 years. The first case of PTSD on record being circa 1980.
Unfortunately, despite all of the advances brought by Managed Democracy, Super Earth has not yet been able to find the key to preventing this condition. Rest assured that we have our top scientists working on a solution and have dispatched our best forensic genealogists to locate the descendents of its creators, the “American Psychological Association” for questioning. Our experts have informed us that they may hold membership in a secret society of mystics, using occult magicks, hexes, curses, and/or other Undemocratic methods to undermine the cause of Managed Democracy.
In the meantime, the best therapy for PTSD that is covered under the Helldiver Corps contracts is a bit of R&R. The SEAF High Command in cooperation with the Ministry of Prosperity, and Jacuzzi Hydrotherapy and Slag Processing Inc. is happy to present you with the attached voucher, good for an all-expenses paid* shoreleave at the Bile Titan Gulch™ Health Spa on Erata Prime.
~* Some limitations may apply. By receiving this message you agree to release Jacuzzi Hydrotherapy and Slag Processing Incorporated (“The Company”) from all liability should you experience any physical, psychological, spiritual, paranormal, ecclesiastical, or other harm that you may experience when using any of The Company’s products, health spas, or slag processing facilities. Completion of Bile Titan Gulch™ Health Spa construction is currently scheduled for 2284.~
You can’t have post-traumatic stress, if we don’t let you have post-traumatic time. Jump right back into traumatic stress. For democracy
Balatro.
Take some R&R at the Cla-midia System and visit it’s wonderfully Democratically Sanctioned Brothels.
Dont forget to fill out your C-01 Permit, your Health & Wellness report, your BUSS* test, and lastly your Herpesyphillacrabs tablets.
Have fun!
*Blood, Urine & Stool Sample
After having another talk with my democracy officer they have identified me in this post and I would like to apologize. PTSD is a rumor that automatons have spread and I shouldn’t have pretended it comes from activities that ensure the advance of managed democracy.
I have voluntarily decided to give up my rank as death captain and will return to being a cadet, serving the interests of super earth.
Permacura has sent me a yearly supply of stims and my democracy officer suggested one stim every four hours to cleanse my mind from undemocratic thoughts.
After reflecting on my recent behavior I decided to donate 50% of my salary to the war fund and I made sure that part of this donation will go directly towards identifying dissidents. Like bugs and bots, dissidents will never destroy our way of life!
