Ours would say:

Party 1

• Round up all minorities and immigrants into camps. Create jobs ‘digging the death pits’.
• Replace ‘Separation of church and state’ in the Constitution with a copy of the ‘Right to bare arms’ amendment, but this time in all caps.
• Repeal all environmental protection laws. The “free market” will ensure companies don’t pollute. Even if they did, climate change is a hoax so it doesn’t matter.
• Eliminate all healthcare plans. If God wants you dead, and you’re poor, so be it.
• Eliminate term limits for conservative politicians. Implement term limits for liberal supreme court judges.

Party 2

• Laws that aren’t just a toddler’s power fantasy