• byroon@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    I think the truth is women do like muscly men, but men tend to overestimate how muscly. Like swimmer physique is attractive, hollywood batman physique is male power fantasy; or something

    • Sombyr@lemmy.zip
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      6 months ago

      I can’t speak for every woman, but I can speak for my own experiences and report based on the things women I know have said. For me and those I’ve spoken to, we may like muscles, but the things you need to do to get those muscles often aren’t as attractive and cancel it out. Like, if you’re getting muscles by going to the gym every day, that’s only gonna attract women who are enthusiastic about the gym. If you get them from farm work, you’ll attract women enthusiastic about farm life.
      That’s why a lot of us like dad bods so much. It’s not that it’s inherently more attractive, it’s that it’s a body type achievable by living the kind of life style people who’re into that enjoy.
      In other words, yes, muscles can be attractive, but not nearly as attractive as shared hobbies and interests, and it just happens quite often muscles can be a quick indicator that you probably don’t share many.

      • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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        6 months ago

        I got big arm from the gym once and even women who never went to the gym couldn’t resist peeking at them.

        You make it sound like the muscles are only interesting as a sign of lifestyle.

        No, in my experience women find muscles viscerally and directly arousing, not just an indicator of compatible lifestyle. Women like muscles the way men like boobs: before thinking.

        • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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          6 months ago

          it’s called morbid curiousity, like looking at an elephant sitting in arm chair

        • Akasazh@feddit.nl
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          6 months ago

          So from your experience of not being a woman, you’ve deducted what woman want.

          About that very same confusion books were written and movies were made.

          • undergroundoverground@lemmy.world
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            6 months ago

            I’m not a dog but I’m fairly certain all the dogs I’ve met want to be fed some kind of meat intended for human consumption or cheese.

            Does my lack of being a dog make this untrue?

            I’m sure the market for “magic Mike, the dad-bod edition” will pick up any minute now.

            Any minute now…

              • undergroundoverground@lemmy.world
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                6 months ago

                Let me just add that your evading answering the question says all that needed to be said.

                Also, how can you feel sorry for them? You’re not a dog. Therefore, you couldn’t possibly have any idea what they might want.

        • Sombyr@lemmy.zip
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          6 months ago

          I wasn’t intending to say we only like muscles as an indicator of lifestyle. I was saying they’re also an indicator of lifestyle, so even if we are attracted to them we may still pass because it doesn’t match the kind of personality we prefer, and personality is generally a lot more important to us than appearance (generally, but not always.)
          For instance, I find muscles attractive. I like that they show somebody’s interested in staying healthy, but I don’t generally date muscular men simply because I’m not into the fit lifestyle. I much prefer a guy who’s more likely to join me playing my favorite games or watching my favorite movies, because I’m a nerd and those are the things I like, and a guy who’s a little chubbier tends to be exactly that kind of guy.

          • Pelicanen@sopuli.xyz
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            6 months ago

            All the nerds who go to the gym just quietly shed a tear.

            I also think that men (of which I am one) tend to overestimate just how much women appreciate muscles. Naturally it’s a spectrum but I at least have the experience that men believe that getting muscular will automatically award them with adoration from women when that seldom seems to be the case.

    • CleoTheWizard@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      You’re close. The real truth is that most average people do not like to date too high above their perceived range of attractiveness. This bears out in many studies but people are attracted to 8’s and 9’s but won’t date them and instead mostly date people that are more normal 5,6,7’s.

      Then we look at the opposite side of the coin, 9’s and 10’s don’t even want to date each other. And for good reason. Extremely attractive people often cross a line into narcissism or being too busy to hold a relationship.

      So two factors: 1. Most people aren’t extremely fit and so don’t want to date people whose lifestyle does not match their own, we’re all also slightly insecure. 2. Extremely attractive partners tend not to be good partners. The more people that are attracted to you, the less that date you. Also that’s out of fear of competition and effort so it’s not worth it.

    • li10@feddit.uk
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      6 months ago

      Yeah, I think in general it starts with trying to impress women, then you do it to impress other guys.

      I guess it’s similar for women, they might get into doing their make up and looking nice for attention from guys they like, but in the end they’re mainly trying to impress other women or just doing it because they enjoy it.

      • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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        6 months ago

        My favorite psychology professor likes to say that human males organize themselves into a status hierarchy, then females tend to be most attracted to the males at the top of that hierarchy.

        What this implies is that men are basically electing, themselves, the other men who will pass their genes along to the next generation.

    • BestBouclettes@jlai.lu
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      6 months ago

      People usually like the physique, not the commitment it needs to get there and maintain it. Plus, the steroids.

    • eestileib@sh.itjust.works
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      6 months ago

      Lots of women like really jacked dudes (and many gay men of course).

      I don’t like super lean jacked dudes personally. Give me a big thick rugby player or a 125Kg sumo wrestler any day over a bodybuilder.

      • dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de
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        6 months ago

        Yeah and lots don’t.

        Lots like short guys, and lots like tall guys.

        Lots like ginger guys and lots don’t.

        Almost like there isn’t a universal metric for what people like.

      • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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        6 months ago

        Yeah I’ve got a little gay in me and like a powerful frame, but the super lean, cut bodybuilder look just strikes me as weird. Like a balloon animal made of thin, greasy skin.