Or, alternatively, what did you do to another person which got you blacklisted from their life?

  • Rob T Firefly@lemmy.world
    11·
    1 year ago

    You’re not alone in having this sort of story.

    Speaking as someone else who survived an emotionally abusive relationship years ago (with gaslighting so successful that I had to start secretly recording our conversations on my phone to make sure they really happened the way I remembered and not the different story she would tell me later), successfully cut my ex out of my life and worked on myself, and am now happily in a truly wonderful and healthy marriage to an amazing person, congratulations on getting out.

      • Rob T Firefly@lemmy.world
        4·
        1 year ago

        It’s an ongoing process. Therapy helps, as does a truly understanding partner.

        When I started dating again, my past crappy experience ended up contributing to my now-wife and I hitting it off so well:

        • We both happened to have been through Some Shit before as these things go.
        • We shared understanding and sympathy about what it’s like to be manipulated and treated poorly by toxic people.
        • We were both confident about what we were and were not interested in, and were comfortable asserting ourselves about our own needs as well as listening and accommodating one another’s.
        • We were also both living independently and staying afloat on our own, so if our dating didn’t work out ending the relationship wouldn’t have cost either of us our home/job/etc. (In my abusive situation this had not been the case.)