What did your father do for you/not do for you that you needed?

Context: I have recently become a father to a daughter, with a mother whose father was not around when she was growing up. I won’t bore you all with the details but our daughter is here now and I am realising that I’m the only one in our little family who has really had a father before. But I have never been a girl. And I know that as a boy, my relationships with my mother and father were massively influential and powerful but at the same time radically different to each other. People say that daughters and fathers have a unique relationship too.

Question: What was your father to you? What matters the most when it comes to a father making his daughter loved, safe, confident and free? To live a good life as an adult?

I’d like this to be a mature, personal and real discussion about daughters and fathers, rather than a political thing, so I humbly ask to please speak from your heart rather than your head on this one :)

Thank you

P.S Apologies if this question is badly written or conceived; I haven’t been getting enough sleep! It is what it is! P.P.S I’m gonna post this to a general Ask community but I thought it should come her first :)

  • stanka@lemmy.ml
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    8 months ago

    I read some girl books, basically talked to every woman i loved/respected and asked for a “life influence” book. Jayne eyre, are you there god it is me margret, the ladies room.

    Now that i have my daughter i just love her and give her what I can.

    I do not lie to my kids. Even when that is hard. I am brutally honest about the world around us as she asks the questions.

    Good luck, there is nothing harder or more rewading than kids.

    • Churbleyimyam@lemm.eeOP
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      8 months ago

      Thanks, I really appreciate what you said. I feel like fiction/stories are gonna help me/us a lot