We’re currently looking to start a family, so I thought I’d hit up YT for some advice as a male and the priority skew is mental. The most important thing is having a boy, apparently. Not tips for being supportive, how to help your partner, how to deal with anxieties about money and time.

Bonus feed

Dad’s of Lemmy could you share some good advice for someone just starting a family please :D

  • orangeNgreen@lemmy.worldEnglish
    661·
    7 months ago

    Step one is just being there, and not putting everything on mom. Change those diapers. Sing the lullabies. Give the baths. Play peekaboo. Be dad.

    Step two is to not be concerned if you don’t feel an immediate connection to the baby. Sometimes that takes time. In the beginning, they are just a potato that cries, poops, and keeps you up at night.

    Step three is to be kind to yourself and your partner. Raising a kid can be mentally and physically draining at times. Give your partner some alone time, and take some alone time for yourself if at all possible.

    Step four is to keep coming to us for help or even just to vent.

    It may take some trial and error to see what works, because every kid is different. What worked for my first kid didn’t really work for my second. But you’ll get there!

    • ThunderWhiskers@lemmy.worldEnglish
      22·
      7 months ago

      Step three is to be kind to yourself and your partner. Raising a kid can be mentally and physically draining at times. Give your partner some alone time, and take some alone time for yourself if at all possible.

      Step 1 is fantastic, but step 3 is going to be mission critical. There will be times where you will feel like you can’t take one second more of screaming, or later one more “what do ducks do?”. Give yourselves time to disengage from the children. They really don’t require much hard work, but they do require nearly constant attention when they are young.

      We’re all making this up as we go buddy. You’ll have good days and bad days. Don’t beat yourself up too much about the bad ones. Love your children, and don’t be afraid to tell them when you make mistakes.

    • mihntEnglish
      12·
      7 months ago

      Step one is just being there, and not putting everything on mom. Change those diapers. Sing the lullabies. Give the baths. Play peekaboo. Be dad.

      I’ve always loved how Ryan Reynolds put it;

      “Just do the dirty work, man. You gotta do the diapers, you gotta do the middle of the night thing. I mean, your wife — a human being will exit your wife, so she’s done enough. Just change the diapers and do all that stuff.”

    • trolololol@lemmy.worldEnglish
      3·
      7 months ago

      Yep I think most important is 4

      And I’ll add 5: everything takes more time than before, so bring in lots of patience. No long quick shower quick breakfast and go to your weekend commitments. Now you’ll wait for the wife and the kid. And you’re better be busy doing something for the kids because there’s lots to do and it should be split with the mom right.