Not to brag but I’m a pretty confident person in my social circle. I’m funny, make people laugh etc. etc.

Basically, I am adored by everybody.

But there is something that I noticed about myself lately. Regularly people come up to me to chat and sometimes they compliment me. Now, complimenting isn’t a bad thing, obviously. But I just don’t feel anything when I receive them.

However I enjoy it when people talk good things about me when I’m not present. I, again, don’t feel anything when people talk shit about me when I’m not present. BUT I really enjoy it when people straight up come at me and say something bad at me. My mood increases and I spend the rest of my day happier.

Is this some kind of a defense/coping mechanism that I have unintentionally developed? I don’t see anything bad about this.

It’s also worthy to say that I spent the majority of my life isolated up until a few years ago. No compliments at all but nobody to say bad things either. Is this why I fail to appreciate compliments?

  • paysrenttobirds@sh.itjust.works
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    8 months ago

    That’s interesting, I don’t usually think of gratitude as an alternative to praise, but I’m going to try to keep that in mind in the future. I definitely have felt that I come across as insincere or condescending at times when I give praise and it makes me very self-conscious to give or receive it, but gratitude is just more enjoyable for both parties.