Four members of a Florida family were convicted Wednesday of selling a toxic industrial bleach as a fake Covid-19 cure through their online church.
A federal jury in Miami found Mark Grenon, 65, and his sons, 37-year-old Jonathan, 35-year-old Joseph and 29-year-old Jordan, guilty of conspiring to defraud the United States and deliver misbranded drugs, according to court records. That charge carries up to five years in prison. Their sentencing is scheduled for Oct. 6.
Prosecutors called the Grenons “con men” and “snake-oil salesmen” and said the Bradenton family’s Genesis II Church of Health and Healing sold $1 million worth of their so-called Miracle Mineral Solution. In videos, it was pitched as a cure for 95% of known diseases, including Covid-19, Alzheimer’s, autism, brain cancer, HIV/AIDS and multiple sclerosis, prosecutors said.
They made the biggest mistake a church can make, competing with big pharma. If you want to sell something, sell prayers or replicas of holy relics or literal snake oil, as long as you don’t call it a drug.
Like these faith nickels I have for sale. They can help with hair cancer, eyelid twitching, nasal shortage, rickets, crickets, tickets, clickits, boneitis, polywater intoxication, Bowden’s malady, space madness, subspace madness, liminal space madness, Baggy Trousers by Madness, rectal upcharge, and bacne. Side effects include irritable spouse syndrome, flavor packets, butterfly affect, scruples, time dilation, back knee, and the squorts. Of course, I have scruples, so I couldn’t possibly let these powerful faith nickels get out into the world for less than three easy payments of $49.95 plus s&h.
You have nothing for writers block?
ChatGPT.
Rookie mistake, using your own supply. The good news is, there’s a cream for that. I sell it on my website, miracle-scruples-cream[dot]info.
Shiny.
Why would I buy a cure-all from someone who suffers from scruples?