In the last year or so I started to see so many people of my age that have done truly incredible things and still doing more.
For the vast majority of my life my only goals were gettimg academic satisfaction and doing unproductive stuff in the free time to get temporary pleasure. No end goal whatsoever.
I kind of don’t know what I’ve been doing in the last 17 years while someone gets a patent on solar systems, other invents a new recyclable plastic, and another found a successful startup. I mean, they all find what they’re supposed to be doing with their lives and excel in them.
I feel overwhelmed for trying to pace up with these kind of people. Yet I don’t like the way the things are and I can’t do anything but envy those people.
Anyone with experience in this regard? How did you deal with this? Did you eventually “pace up” with these people or was it too late or an unattainable goal?
Edit: Whoops, I didn’t expect so many replies! Thanks, I’ll look into them all
I wasn’t really causing trouble to people around me, but I definitely caused trouble for myself. Either by lack of awareness or by laziness or mental problems. I just didn’t do anything for myself. I think I don’t miss anything that has happened in the past a lot, I just did regular stuff that was just enough to keep me afloat
No one tells me that. In fact, everyone around me usually tells me “I’m proud of you” “I wish I was you” or stuff like that mostly for some good stuff I did in the last year
I’m just not content with myself. I want more, and seeing people that have more makes me feel bad so I also want that
I think the thing you are missing is that you are comparing yourself to people who are not only exceptional but also and more importantly lucky. No one who is 17 is able to do these things without some luck and often resources and support from people with vastly more resources than so-called normal Joe has. You also have no idea how far their ideas will actually carry. You all are just getting started.
We have this image of everyone starting at the same line but even without taking into account different natural abilities, we do not. Someone has neurodivergence or mental health struggles holding them behind. Others have physical disabilities. People come from differing wealth statuses or family composition. Some have huge amounts of connections to what they want to do. Some people get a better education. Some don’t even have a home or country they can stay in. The only thing you can do is your best. And learn that your value doesn’t come from what you do or have done, but from being first a person and secondly a good person. You are unique.
I am more than twice your age which by some standards makes me old. My life has been full of missed opportunities, mistakes, doing things too late, and a lot of things that other people think are amazing. It is hard to come out of inside my head and really look into what I have done. While I am nothing special or great, when you try to see yourself from the outside the view is very different. What I see as something that held me back and that is still keeping me back, others see it as overcoming a really crappy childhood and functioning despite the hell I went through. What I see as an easy way to make money, childcare, the children I took care of see as something integral to their childhoods in a positive way. And the accidental adventure based on the fact that I couldn’t stop myself from at least trying to help made me a humanitarian aid worker with actual expertise. Now I am planning on pivoting again as I want something less stressful so I am looking into university in my mid-thirties. Where I have imposter syndrome, others see expert to be respected. But none of those happened because I was so good. From the social safety net my country provided to the almost entirely free and good quality education I received, lifted me to be more than what my beginnings would have indicated in the majority of countries around the globe. I have friends who only could have 4 years of school until they ended in my country as adults. They got extraordinarily lucky based on the routes and times they took those routes to even end up here. Had they not, I can promise all their efforts for the foreseeable future would have gone to just surviving. While I am somewhat intelligent on paper at least, that was not what made our lives different. It was the where, when, and how our lives started and what happened along the way we had little to do with.
Do I feel like I wasted my life? Yes and no. While I do not regret anything, I think I should have lived a little bit more for my own benefit. But it would be a little bit premature to think I wasted my life. There is hopefully half at least left.
You. You are just starting. While the destination is somewhat relevant to life in general in that you need in my opinion to be working for a goal even if it changes, it is the journey that really matters. Don’t get so stuck with the goal of becoming someone that you miss the journey. Your value comes from you being you, so be you. There is really only one of those.
I stopped accusing those people to be privileged. Some are, but there are many people from backgrounds similar to me, if not even worse. I met them. They aren’t special. They just act with their minds and make some good decisions. I could perfectly be in a position similar to them if I made the right decisions.
If they were from backgrounds like you they would be you. Your decisions didn’t come from a vacuum. We are a complex mix of our genetics and environment. You really also have no idea how they will deal with things in the future. There are concepts like peaked in high school and previous gifted children and youth that ended up not doing a lot with their lives later.
Also, inventing something or founding a successful startup is not necessarily succeeding in life. There are scores of people who got rich and/or famous and are miserable. While money is important up to a point, external success doesn’t really mean you are living a life worth living. It can help but comes with its own cost.
I think you are focusing on external things instead of internal ones. You are also comparing yourself to people whose heads you have never been in.
Why do you think those decisions were so much better? You focusing on academics and enjoying yourself is pretty much what I think you should have been doing. Being a child and a teenager is exactly the time when you should be figuring out yourself and what you like so you do not wake up at thirty and be in a profession you hate.
The vast majority of people don’t end up inventing something. Are they wasting their lives?
Ambitious! I like it. Well I don’t know all about you, so here’s what I suggest:
Write down what it is you really want (privately), because “I want more” is very broad and not a need that can easily be satisfied.
Each of these all will require some levels of dedication, effort, resolve, money and luck. Figure out what it is you want and to what level, figure out what are the challenges keeping you from it (money, time, knowledge, luck, connections, physical/mental complications, what have you), then figure out how to best deal with these challenges to get to your goal.