I generally use “they” if I’m talking about an unknown or indeterminate person, like “someone forgot their umbrella here. They are going to get wet”, “if one of our clients has a problem with our software, they will tell us”, etc.
I don’t fuck with “they” for talking about someone specific. I always find it irritating when someone says something like “Alice is going to the shop. They are going to buy a dress”, or “Geoff is going to watch the hockey match. They are a fan of the Habs.” It just sounds clunky and like intentionally being obtuse for the sake of shoehorning in one’s politics.
What if Alice has told you their preferred pronouns are they/them? Would you still call them ‘her’ in spite of their wishes?
If Geoff is happy with being called ‘he’, then sure, he went to the match.
I think it only sounds clunky because we’re not so used to it. Imagine a child today being brought up knowing “they” is a perfectly normal individual or group pronoun alongside he and she. In ten years, it won’t sound weird to them (hah) at all.
I personally don’t respect people’s wishes to be called “they” with no alternate pronouns. I don’t allow them to dictate changing the way I use language, and I don’t really buy into the whole “non-binary” thing. IMO it always comes from a place of promoting societally ingrained gender roles, and I don’t agree with that. Like “I don’t want to be called ‘she/her’ because all women like pink and wearing dresses and that doesn’t apply to me”.
I will call people whichever of he/she they prefer. If someone is presenting as male I will call them he/him, and if they are presenting as female I will call them she/her. If they are presenting but not really passing I’ll still respect that they’re making an effort and call them whichever they are trying to present. Eg. There was a trans girl in my MTG club in uni. She did not pass at all but I’d still use female pronouns since she kept referring to herself as a girl and I’m not trying to make someone feel bad just because they were born with the wrong hormones.
I generally use “they” if I’m talking about an unknown or indeterminate person, like “someone forgot their umbrella here. They are going to get wet”, “if one of our clients has a problem with our software, they will tell us”, etc.
I don’t fuck with “they” for talking about someone specific. I always find it irritating when someone says something like “Alice is going to the shop. They are going to buy a dress”, or “Geoff is going to watch the hockey match. They are a fan of the Habs.” It just sounds clunky and like intentionally being obtuse for the sake of shoehorning in one’s politics.
What if Alice has told you their preferred pronouns are they/them? Would you still call them ‘her’ in spite of their wishes?
If Geoff is happy with being called ‘he’, then sure, he went to the match.
I think it only sounds clunky because we’re not so used to it. Imagine a child today being brought up knowing “they” is a perfectly normal individual or group pronoun alongside he and she. In ten years, it won’t sound weird to them (hah) at all.
I personally don’t respect people’s wishes to be called “they” with no alternate pronouns. I don’t allow them to dictate changing the way I use language, and I don’t really buy into the whole “non-binary” thing. IMO it always comes from a place of promoting societally ingrained gender roles, and I don’t agree with that. Like “I don’t want to be called ‘she/her’ because all women like pink and wearing dresses and that doesn’t apply to me”.
I will call people whichever of he/she they prefer. If someone is presenting as male I will call them he/him, and if they are presenting as female I will call them she/her. If they are presenting but not really passing I’ll still respect that they’re making an effort and call them whichever they are trying to present. Eg. There was a trans girl in my MTG club in uni. She did not pass at all but I’d still use female pronouns since she kept referring to herself as a girl and I’m not trying to make someone feel bad just because they were born with the wrong hormones.