Everyone is different. Some people who are non binary but lean/present as feminine might use feminine words, but others I’ve seen use the masculine because they think modifying the grammar is complicated.
I personally use the gender-neutral modified language, like using elle in Spanish.
I’m fine with “my man” now :)
In 2021, I struggled with intense dysphoria which caused me to feel bad every time someone mentioned things like male parts, or gendered language.