Don’t bother applying, I just got the offer letter for Paid Hermit.

Inspiring and bold. Don’t we all want to break free, as Putin and Kim Jong Un drop their new album, “99 Shit Balloons”?

Hesh!

Second that.

The best of North Korean cabinetry skill. Truly, a marvel.

Arms back, hips and moobs emphasized, because lumbar lordosis is not just for women! Powerful and manly man can master it, with practice and intense self-indulgence. Westerners aren’t permitted to learn it.

His hair plays Christmas music wherever he goes, all year. Glory to the Newborn King and this ipod mini I glued to my scalp!

Thanks for that anxiety fuel, wtf is that thing on the left with the giant teeth?! Justin Trudeau lookin mofo over there MERCI NON

Tranya ferments so well in the crawlspace behind McCoy’s office. Consistent temperature plus patience and it’s happy cake oven time.

You say “Intrepid Decision”, I say “The Coffee Machine Was Broken And It Was Dark And Clown Guy from That Voyager Ep Was Launching An IPO”…

Do yu haf da wing?

Happy cake day!

Demanding that the other one drop everything to scratch a shoulder blade in a very specific way. Mawaaige.

Ooh, Cinderella story it is not.

No Soup For You

Well played, Ryan

This. Sympathy pain, but this.

Desitin is a thick diaper cream, 40% zinc oxide, the rest is cod liver oil, lanolin, beeswax, glycerin, vitamin E. It smells awful, but it works. It’s quite safe for sensitive areas, seems to be pH neutral. If it is safe for rashy baby bum, it’s safe enough for anything. Source: Never leave home without it.

Why can’t they stay? Karelia would get awesome again, there would be plenty of jobs.

There’s one of these (without the red eyes) placed very carefully in a yard I have to pass in the evenings occasionally. The shadows of the trees seem to change the outline, theatrically effective at making innocent motorists shit a brick. Thanks, I hate it.