Starting your own tweet with “BREAKING:” is so cringe.

My cats scratched up our living room tv pretty bad trying to catch the birds and squirrels from cat videos, but they are so fucking cute and I needed an excuse for a new TV anyway.

As a homeschooled kid, I usually had the opposite problem. Mispronounced so much shit.

I just read most of that and I’m both confused and anxious for a sequel.

Oh interesting thought, I hadn’t thought of that. I’m not sure why Trump cares enough about Gaetz at this point to do something so…elaborate, but I was wondering if he really needed to resign so far ahead of any confirmation or even the inauguration.

We are the baddies.

Uh Jealous over here in the US.

As someone who hires a lot of MBA types

I could give a shit about your cover letter

I could give a shit about your nice follow up email after the interview

I realize I’m a sample size of one, but I also don’t do cover letters or follow up notes for mydelf and I guess I am doing well enough that I have a bunch of energetic MBA types working for me.

2 things

1. when it’s an airplane we call it speed tape and its used all over the aircraft, mostly by maintenance, to keep the plane together. Don’t worry about it.

2. This probably wasn’t duct tape anyway, but special tape for passenger restraint, similar to zip ties, that is stored on board for use in this type of situation

Pleased and surprised to see Philippines so well represented but surprised it isn’t a larger asian country like Japan.

cringe aha cappy blappies

No that’s Newer Zealand

You wouldn’t download a flouride.

I don’t think that is Imran Khan in the photo.

Thank you!

Is that her foot or the gun she is holding?

Hold on to your butts.

May you consistently find yourself stuck behind slow walkers that always seem to weave in the direction you’re trying to overtake them from

Dude don’t forget incense. Vibe is all important for self care and doubly so with drugs.

They can’t expel a member, but if playing strategy video games has taught me anything, most of the members already have a secret text group or chat channel and are coordinating the creation of a new alliance to be announced as soon as they all jointly announce their withdrawal from NATO.

Maybe sans USA, Turkey and Hungary. But again I am basing this purely on my own direct experience playing co-op strategy games which, while technically set in space amid warring alien races, still feels about as apt a qualification as any actual world leaders are likely to have.