much sad indeed. may she forever live in our hearts

Netherlands kind of surprised me on this one

there’s only one answer and its 6!

you’re a loaf harry

dam yeah I guess it’s best on Linux then

haven’t had problems with Zotify for downloads when using the download realtime option. spotify also has the option to export your playlists. it’s on the web in the account settings I believe? if you have jellyfin as well there’s a plugin that pulls directly from the site as well

https://github.com/Viperinius/jellyfin-plugin-spotify-import

I’m sorry to hear you’re going through a hard time. just know your not alone. life is rough out there for a lot of us. recently I was falsely accused of rape by someone I was dating. top that off, my mom just got admitted to the hospital this morning for some serious medical stuff. I’ve only had one friend who I haven’t seen in years checkin to see if I was ok. it’s sad to see but makes be grateful. wish you the best man! we deserve better but we do the best we can. stay strong brother

I’ve struggled with something similar in the past and there could be a lot of reasons for it. I’d say overall though don’t beat yourself up, we all tend to learn in different ways and struggled with different concepts and aspects in our lives.

I’d start with your health and making sure you brain has enough nutrients, are plenty hydrated, have lots of sleep, and you have some sort of exercise you enjoy. keeping your body in shape tends to cut down the amount of energy you need to keep it running so it in turn frees up resources for the brain.

next, I’d try to come up with a strategy for how your brain tends to work, especially when at low capacity. develop strategies to help re-engage your brain at those moments. for some pacing or just going for a walk helps. others, having something to fidget with. for me, I tend to fidget with something or doing something mindless while thinking about the problem I have at hand. you’d be surprised at how much that can kickstart your brain back into gear.

next, try lowering your overall mental capacity. cutting down on decision fatigue can help a lot. some examples could be automating aspects of your day to day life, cutting down on certain stimulus, or just making decisions in advanced so you don’t have to think too hard about it. this can help clear your mind and help you keep focus for longer periods of time.

next , explore some stimulants. do be careful though and make sure it doesn’t conflict with your overall health. for some a cup of coffee is all they need. I tend to reach for 1 cup in the morning to increase my focus and throughout the day I drink Teas with lions Maine and reshi. the tea can help open neural pathways and caffeine tends to keep your brain alerted and focused.

lastly, you can look towards pharmaceuticals or drugs. personally I feel this is the last place to look and again shouldn’t interfere with your overall health. these can be dangerous but if used properly and in moderation can boost mental performance. I’ve used ADHD meds in the past and they can help a ton if that’s what you need. talk with your doctor to see if it’s something right for you. on the other side, psychedelics, more specifically psilocybin can help create new neural pathways rapidly. I’d say use it as a last resort and you’ve done extensive research on it and know the risks to your health and the legality of it in your area.

I hope this helps. programming is hard! it takes the best of us to really understand it all. whenever I struggle to learn a new concept that I think should just be easy, I always look back at how far I’ve come and just be proud of it no matter how small. best of luck!

I don’t think I can forgive her or my community, at least any time soon. all I wanted was to lift her up but she choose to tear me down. my community choose to tear me down. how can I feel safe to be myself if it feels like the world is out to get me? why should I forgive myself if the world around me tells me I should be ashamed for being a man. for having needs. for wanting love…

you’re right though, in order to move on I have to forgive. I have to forgive her, I have to forgive my coworkers who choose to stay silent, I have to forgive my community for throwing me in jail, I have to forgive the world that shames men for existing…

I’m just having a hard time letting go. I feel so empty and hollowed out and I just don’t know where to start. I’ve been taking my therapists and family’s advice and working on my self esteem.

sorry for the rant I just needed to vent a little. thanks for the advice I really appreciate it.

it’s not that I ignored it, it’s just I couldn’t hear it. therapist believes it’s due to having adults in my life growing up who’ve weaponized my love. at some point I just turned it off as it just hurt too much. it’s been a process but I’ll remember, thanks

we had been going out or hanging out for a month or two. I don’t claim it was right but it was the moment. I never planned to be into her as we where coworkers but hindsight is hindsight. I’m just moving forward now

I’ve always had a hard time listening to gut feelings and its something I’m working on with my therapist atm. hopefully when I get back out there I can be more aware of it. I like the idea of small amounts of trust and building it up, I’ll definitely use that. thanks for the wise words and for reading through my long post its much appreciated :)

it’s ok, I’m taking it day by day and hoping for the best. also wow, she sounds like a keeper for sure! I’ve never had a relationship that strong before, even friends. I’ll definitely keep that in mind in my next relationship. I tend to be a over giver when it comes to anyone in my life 😅 I’m learning to set more boundaries now

I’ll definitely keep that in mind as I keep dating, although it might be a while before I get back out there. thanks for the advice I really appreciate it

glad you found someone like that! my parents are almost a spitting image of something similar to that 😂 thanks for sharing and best of luck with the proposal

dam two years is a long time to learn something like that. at least we can learn from our mistakes. for now though, taking a year or two break just to get myself in a better place

It’s been a rough 2 years beyond this just happening and I guess out of desperation I felt like it was the only good thing going for me in my life. that in contrast with my last relationship, where we had been dating for a whole year but due to me losing my job I had to move back home. she never really said she wanted me to stay and that influenced my descision to move back. after the fact, I felt like I should have fought for our relationship and for me to stay. I’ve since reached out and she said she would have loved if I had stayed but understood that I couldn’t and didn’t really question it. I’ve since learned now to just let it be. if it’s not working out, it’s not working out. Thank you for your comment, really appreciate it!

yeah… as soon as I found out that should have just ended it there. sadly the span for when I found out to being arrested was one week. there were earlier signs like the mood changes I should have picked up on but it’s a skill I’ve been trying to figure out with my therapist. thanks for the comment!

top right is an absolute mood

your totally right! at the time I thought I was comfortable with myself but looking back its been a rough journey to realize I never really did. part of me thinks thats the religious aspect of my past haunting me on top of being treated horribly by my extended family in the past. thank you for the great advice