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Joined 9 months ago
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Cake day: September 30th, 2023

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  • Hello! I am a cis person who is close to the trans community. I’m happy to try to answer your questions a bit.

    Question 1: Gender is a many faceted beast, but for now, let’s focus on two aspects: gender as one feels internally, and gender as outwardly expressed/perceived by others. An easy way to describe the trans experience to cis people is through internal gender, knowing that you are something other than your gender assigned at birth, turning into an externalized gender expression; wearing the right clothes, the right hair length, etc. However, not every trans person is going neatly from one gender box to another. Maybe they like a few certain things picked up from their assigned gender, maybe they’re nonbinary, maybe they’re gender non-conforming (think of feminine gay men and butch lesbians for examples of cis people like that). Trans people deserve to have at least as much range of gender expression as that! The reason you might not see a lot of people with conflicting gender expressions and gender identity, is, well, these folks don’t have to come out to everyone they meet. If you assume someone is a man and they’re not, often they won’t correct you.

    Question 2: Previously (and similarly to homosexuality), being trans was categorized as a mental illness, but doctors took a closer look and found that was incorrect at least a decade ago in the 2013 update to DSM-5. Now, gender dysphoria (the diagnosis most trans people get) is described as an incongruence between the mind and body. Consider your limb example in the reverse: if someone were missing an arm and complained of feeling a phantom limb, you’d understand that to be an incongruence between the mind (expecting a limb) and the body (missing a limb). Most trans people are experiencing something like that, a desire for something positive (experiences of a “true”, or preferred, gender) rather than just something negative (removing the experiences of the gender assigned at birth). The best treatment for trans people’s mental health is to have a well-supported transition.

    Not a question, but in regard to your intro, you don’t have to worry so much about pronouns, rarely are people going to get pissed at you for an honest mistake. Other people using the correct pronoun for trans people (even if it’s after correcting) can be very validating. As long as you’re trying and listening to feedback (like, not repeatedly using the wrong pronouns for someone who told you otherwise), you’re doing just fine, no need to be anxious over it!

    Also, if you want to learn more in a casual setting, trans memes are 🔥, keep an eye on some of the communities around here!




  • Anyone thinking that lemmy is a welcoming space to women should read through that thread first.

    Edit: the current state of Lemmy and the fediverse reminds me heavily of early reddit, for better and for worse. You can curate some pretty supportive communities if you are careful picking them out, they remain well moderated, etc. But there are plenty of places where you’ll get scummy content if you wander or if posts attract too much attention.




  • In case anyone read the headline and was worried it would pop up on your computer overnight, it does appear to need some hefty and recent processors and between 6-25GBs free in order to run at all, so I don’t think it’ll sneak up on folks any time soon.

    On the bad news front, I thought this was standard AI bad until I got to the part where it won’t obscure passwords. But, surprise, it will obscure DRM content (and private browsing, but just if you’re using Microsoft Edge).

    Terrible for privacy aware consumers but I really anticipate the worst of this will be in a corporate setting. Plenty of employers already spy on employees but this would be pretty next level.






  • Bro are you doing these things to actually make women comfortable and safe around you, or are you doing them so that women treat you nicely? The former is feminist, and the latter is disguised chivalry where women still owe you things for treating them like people. Withholding your support of women unless they tell you what a big strong man good ally you are is not a way to a more equal future, and you can apply this to virtually any minority rights movement.

    And if you think women being wary of unknown men is a personal critique, I don’t know what to tell you except that it doesn’t reflect well on you. But it seems like there’s a lot of folks here who missed the point hard and are stepping in it, so you’re in company at least.