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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 8th, 2023

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  • So there’s a lot of research suggesting neurodivergence has strong correlation with LGBT+ and there’s some indicating the BDSM correlation (not saying they are the same/related, but people who are in touch with themselves enough to identify as LGBT+ are more likely to be open about sexuality in general in my experience). It’s so present in my various social circles that I’ve connected nerd & neurodivergent and thought of those as the common factor.

    But I realize there’s another commonality I hadn’t considered: they’re very community-oriented and attend community gatherings. There are three groups I’m thinking of: one has a ton of burners (not actually Burning Man, but smaller local variants), another are Quakers (and more specifically those who attend large regional/national gatherings), and the last are people who religiously attend DragonCon.

    Maybe that has more to do with the sex-positivity and openness than the nerd piece? I don’t know. I just know I’m surrounded by it somehow, lol.




  • My company offers parental leave (generic, not gender-specific, and applies to adoptions as well as giving birth). Everyone I work with expects people—men included—to take it.

    A guy on my team took his a couple years ago and now with his second child recently born, he is applying his lesson learned. Instead of taking the time as soon as his kid is born, overlapping time off with his wife, he’s letting his wife take her full time then he’s taking his. That way they stagger the full-time care of the newborn for about 6 months straight, after which his wife will be done teaching for the summer, meaning more like 8 months straight.

    Another coworker (Director level) had his latest kid December before last. Our busy time is January to April, so he delayed and took his time off in May or June.

    Fuck companies that don’t support it and the small-minded people who think men shouldn’t take it. I can understand how challenging it can be for a small business to support that kind of leave, but as humans we should care more about supporting the next generation than a couple hits to productivity at work for 2-3 months. (I write as a permanently child-free person.)

    What you’re missing is that the people you work with are stuck in the mindset from 2 generations ago. Don’t buy in. Taking your leave IS supporting your family; you’re doing it right.


  • I agree the wall is convincing and that it’s not surprising that the Tesla didn’t detect it, but I think where your comment rubs the wrong way is that you seem to be letting Tesla off the hook for making a choice to use the wrong technology.

    I think you and the article/video agree on the point that any car based only on images will struggle with this but the conclusion you drew is that it’s an unfair test while the conclusion should be that NO car should rely only on images.

    Is this situation likely to happen in the real world? No. But that doesn’t make the test unfair to Tesla. This was an intentional choice they made and it’s absolutely fair to call them on dangers of that choice.


  • I tell everyone that it’s both, “I had her for TWENTY years!” with excitement and joy for how long I had her in my life, and how lucky I was to have her such a long time. AND, “I had her for twenty years,” so I don’t even remember who I was before her; she was so much of my life and it is so much harder to live without her now.

    I’m sorry you’re also dealing with this kind of pain. It sucks. <3


  • Reyali@lemm.eetocats@lemmy.worldLost my boy today
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    19 days ago

    I lost my 20-year-old best girl in October and still feel the hole in my heart so strongly, even though I adopted a sweet new kitty two months ago.

    As someone else here on Lemmy said to me: may his sunspot never move and may he rest in play. <3








  • It’s not uncommon for me to only have one or two 30-minute breaks between 8:30am and 5pm. I’ve gotten to the point that if I have over 2 hours without meetings I often feel like I get nothing done, because I’ve gotten pretty good at getting a few things (emails or messages, not deep work) knocked out in the 5-10 min in between calls. I can only really focus on deeper work at night after everyone else has signed off.

    Not really a sustainable way of doing work, I’m also not doing as much hands-on work these days. A lot of my meeting time is 1-on-1s with my team and making sure they have what they need to move forward, make decisions, and get work done or with other people to try to remove barriers to help the team be able to move forward. So in that sense, the meetings ARE the work.



  • Any chance you know where this meetup was?

    I ask because I’m wondering if I might have been there but, like, before it got to…this. I used to attend weekly reddit meetups at a bar in Houston and they also held a larger meetup (maybe annually?). I went to that once and the location looked kinda like this. But I don’t recognize anyone in the picture and definitely didn’t experience anything like what’s shown…

    I did make a lot of friends that way. When I moved away I tried to start something in my new city but it wasn’t big enough to catch on. I did meet a couple cool people though, and ~10 years later I regularly have one of them and her husband over to paint minis about once every other month. I guess my point is that not all reddit meetups got this weird.




  • Not really one, but at work multiple times I’ve proposed a solution to a problem and someone else (generally with more influence) had a different idea that I knew wouldn’t work well.

    The best approach I’ve found is just to ask them questions, “What happens when ___?”, “How will your solution handle X?”, etc. As long as they engage honestly, I’ve been able to get them to come around to my solution.

    It’s slow and tiresome, but is a good lesson for me on how to work with other people. I’ve already thought through all those questions before proposing “my” solution; I sometimes need people to get on the same train of thought.