Ex-egg. Turns out wishing you were a girl does work.

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Joined 6 months ago
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Cake day: July 2nd, 2024

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  • Three (and a bit) months into HRT, and seeing the effects more and more :3 Definitely starting to look more feminine, at least from certain angles. I’ve been trying to train myself to maintain a slight smile, rather than my default scowl which doesn’t look good at all. Voice is getting better but still wandering into husky / screechy a bit too often.

    I just wish my (somewhat curly) hair would grow out of the awkward phase a bit faster. I suppose I could get regular trims and have it styled professionally, but I think I’d rather have the length sooner.

    If I can step up my makeup game a bit, I might actually have a chance of passing soon! (Yeah, right…)




  • Thanks for the reassurance! Yeah, voice is an interesting one. I’m using my new voice all the time now (similarly, I just can’t stand to go back), although it’s still a bit hit-and-miss, and wanders around a lot from day to day as I try out different things. Reactions have ranged from warmer tones and smiles from strangers, to “your voice is different” from people I meet occasionally, and “what do you mean, voice training? Your voice is the same as always” from people I work with. Sadly (?) there isn’t a sir/ma’am distinction here like there is in English, so it’s difficult to know how people perceive me.

    Anyway, I went to an on-site event (including people I’m not explicitly out to) the other day in at least fem-adjacent wear with not-very-subtle bra bumps, and didn’t get any awkward questions or comments. So I’m going to assume it’s all in my head and keep pushing my comfort boundaries.











  • I finally watched The Incel to Trans Pipeline and Inside Mari. Don’t be put off like I was by the title: it’s good. Anyway, I was sufficiently interested to pick up the manga second-hand and read through it at the weekend.

    Inside Mari spoilers

    Even knowing the outline from watching the video above, it’s a mindfuck and pretty uncomfortable reading. I loved it though. Then I tried to figure out who I identified with.

    First, obviously, on the surface it’s about a man who ends up in the body of a girl, which I guess to an outsider looks kinda like the transfem experience, but actually almost the reverse.

    Then, aha! I figure: I’m actually like Mari – I thought I was a man, but let go of that figured out who I want to be in the end. (It surprised me at first that we ended up with Mari and not Fumiko, but on reflection I think that was the right choice). But no, that’s not quite right either.

    Then I read the author’s note right at the end. Why does this story have to be about me anyway? There may be elements I relate to, but ultimately I am who I am, and there’s no need to try to fit into any particular box.

    Except now my internal “goals” setting seems to have got stuck on “high-school girl” and I’m feeling horribly dysphoric. Gotta learn not to compare myself to others…