Too slow

Here’s one for ya: Hermes killed Thoth and got the knowledge of alchemy from him, resulting in the syncretic creation of Hermes Trismegistus and the hermetic tradition. Then later we killed Hermes and got the scientific method.

I speak many Englishes

I’m American and living in the UK, it’s just as hard as if I was ESL

The drunks want chicken. S’not Italian.

At the board meeting, I want to hear when they decided to broadcast that they’re expecting to get sued, but in a really cute way

That can’t be right, no bank could be so evil

Pebbled ice is nicer imo, but it really depends on the drink

All the compound interest calculators on websites refuse to go over 100 years so I guess I’ll just take the 5 mil 😭

He’s a good humour man

He told you you wouldn’t understand

We’ve all heard talk about “hybrid warfare” and how Russian intelligence has done some amazing thing in the last decade, but it really is just “promote bad leaders to break democracies abroad”. Statecraft is so much easier when you can pick your own adversaries.

That’s not what I’ve heard

Something like a Montana Empty Marker Pen, do you think? That sounds workable

This is all 2000 coming home to roost. We let the courts decide the election. That’s what I’d write on the toe tag anyway

Also known as “the only Clone Wars”

Genndy made a cartoon and you have questions?

If I wasn’t funny, I’d need therapy

I still do, but I would then, too

Still manageable tbh

The bad news is the same as the good news: the terrifying reality that history constantly hinges on a knife edge of contingency. The best we can do is try to make sure that each day, we try to be the point upon which larger things turn away from evil. Against the rare occasion the gaze of fate finds us, let it find us choosing a better world.