A

You and your 692 partners can fuck off

Hell yeah I knew my performance anxiety would come in handy someday

record scratch Yup. That’s me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation. Let me explain….

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T

E

PC Manager sounds exactly like one of those garbageware “PC tune up” apps I used to clean off of customer computers back when I worked at a repair shop. Right down to changing your homepage/search engine. But at least the other guys would give you a snazzy coupon toolbar or three.

IDK if anyone remembers this, or if it’s my brain making things up, but I swear the first place I saw this was a late night TV ad for “animated ringtones” you could buy for your phone and one of them was this dancing baby

I’d pick wolf. They generally leave you alone and don’t want anything to do with you. I don’t know shit about gorillas

There’s been this thing going around about whether a woman would rather be alone in the woods with a random man or a bear

But what a hell of a month it will be

R

Adding this to my list of reasons why I don’t give “110%”

The fact that a rifle is attached to the telescope is just a funny coincidence

I remember having it explained to me in catechism (essentially catholic religious education) that they would know you’re in hell and wouldn’t miss you. Kind of a fucked up thing to tell a 6 year old, but what are you gonna do

Bread pile (empty)

“Steel is stronger than wood, so let’s make our trestle out of metal toothpicks”

Goodbye

C