this man fears no international break
## 5. Atalanta
the club is actually named after the greek heroine hence the badge
Based out of Bergamo, la dea is the most successful club not to win a Serie A title and the latest club to rise through the midtable and achieve european football outside of the traditionally bigger clubs. In fact, talking about Atalanta without talking about its recent experience under Gasperini would be a bit pointless: a journeyman manager, Gasp was hired by the orobici in June 2016. The club had made it back to Serie A after yet another scandal and had languished in the lower half of the midtable for the past 5 years. In Gasperini’s first season, they achieved an historic 4th place, with his intense and attacking back 3 and 2 man midfield serving as an inspiration for the rest of the league.
And it wasn’t a fluke either, through sheer physicality, offense a shit ton of doping and great scouting, Atalanta has been a staple of the european spots for the past 7 years, achieving two CL berths and a few participations to the Europa League. These past 3 season have seen a slow change of the guard but the team’s form has been consistently pretty good and they now sit one point short of the CL spots
Player to watch: the returning Gianluca Scamacca, who’s back from a less than stellar season at West Ham under Moyes, a great goalscorer with good technique and bulk, Italy’s (future) 9 has already scored 5 goals despite some injuries that have seen him skip around half his available minutes so far.
## 4. Napoli
man this would have been hilarious a few years ago
The reigning champions after 33 years, Napoli has one of if not the most passionate fanbase in Italy and is one of the few clubs to have had a player who is still worshipped as a god in Maradona. Last year, they took the league by storm under current NT manager Luciano Spalletti and achieved a historic scudetto win after decades of waiting while playing exciting football spearheaded by the duo of Osimhen and Kvaratskhelia. There is, however, another figure tied to the club almost as much as Maradona is to its mythos: owner Aurelio De Laurentiis. Tales of how insufferable his negotiating tactics are have reached far beyond Napoli’s social media presence while his antics have made him one of the most hated owners in Italy despite his undeniable success, saving Napoli from bankruptcy and taking them to titles and honors. ADL triggered a clause in Spalletti’s contract without asking, leading to the tuscan manager’s departure, followed shortly after by the newly acquired Kim leaving for Bayern who triggered his release clause. Without a manager and CB, ADL waited and waited until he eventually chose his usual MO of hiring/buying the cheapest acceptable replacements: in came brazilian “kind of wonderkid” Natan and Rudi Garcia, who had recently been fired by Al-Nassr.
This immediately led to a drop in form, even when compared to the end of last season, far less exciting matches and worse results, which immediately prompted the sacking of Garcia and his replacement with, once again, the cheapest option in Walter Mazzarri. Mazzarri was at the helm when Napoli rose through Serie A in the 2010s but has since had a huge downturn in his career. The reigning champions now sit 10 points short of the lead and look out of the title race, this season’s target will be staving off the challengers for that 4th Champions league spot.
Player to watch: Khvicha Kvaratskhelia, the georgian Maradona, was bought as (the cheapest) replacement for the outgoing Insigne and immediately took the league by storm with the talent that had half of europe scouting him in Russia and Georgia before the war. After a stellar first season despite a dip in form, Kvara’s charming brand of football doesn’t seem to be a one-off as he’s on track to improve on his output. A can’t miss talent and one of the most exciting talents in the league.
## 3. Milan
it’s Milan, not AC, calling them AC is like calling Liverpool \“FC\”
One of Milan’s two giants, Milan is an absolute titan of italian and european football. 19 league titles, 7 CL victories and a few Coppa Italias to boot, il diavolo is one of the 3 biggest clubs in Italy that serve as our version of the Barca-Bayern duopoly or the prem’s big 6. While they were already a huge club, a significant part of Milan’s success comes from the decades under ex-PM Silvio Berlusconi’s ownership, to whom they owe 5 (!) CLs and 8 scudetti and a slew of iconic players, BdO winners and absolute stars, led by iconic captains Baresi and Maldini who formed one of the best defensive lines of all time. With Berlusconi’s political downfall however, came time to sell and the 2010s weren’t kind to the rossoneri with the biggest banter era most fans can recall unfolding between Allegri’s title win and the start of Pioli’s stint who, together with now-DoF Maldini sparked the change necessary to take Milan back to the top and whose highest point was winning a very tight scudetto race against local rivals Inter in 2021-22.
After a fairly bad 22/23 that had them 5th on points, Milan’s season so far has been a bit of a mixed bag with good results against great clubs including PSG, wasted points against any low block and a 5-1 humiliation in the local derby. Pioli seems to be on borrowed time as Milan sits just 3 points above 5th.
Player to watch: Rafa Leao, I don’t really have to say much about him, just google a compilation of his skills or something. Milan’s entire attack relies on him cooking up something and more often than not, it just works thanks to his sheer talent. This season he’s being supported on the right by Christian Pulisic (US mentioned!) and the trio with Serie A’s sexiest goalkeeper Olivier Giroud seems to be the only 100% functional part of the team.
## 2. Juventus
The biggest club in Italy, full stop. The bianconeri have won 36 league titles, 14 cups, 2 CLs and a bunch of other things and are consistently the most supported, successful and hated club in Italy. Owned by the Agnelli family (FIAT’s/FCA/half of Stelantis/a bunch of other things’ owners) for the past 100 years, the club hailing from Torino is a perennial challenger for the title despite its tendency to be a bit creative with their interpretation of the rules. In fact, Juve recently went on the longest run of consecutive titles which was more or less bookended by the calciopoli (ref bribing) scandal in 2006 which saw them relegated and stripped of titles and the much more recent plusvalenze case which showed how the tail end of the dominant run was partially made possible by inflated and fake trades. The recent scandal saw Juve lose 10 points last season which, coupled with a ban from the conference league, has them primed for a comeback to the title for the first time since 19/20. In his 3rd year of this 2nd stint at the club, Juve’s manager and football equivalent of ISIS Allegri has managed to keep the team much closer to Inter than in the past two years and seems to be the most credible threat to an otherwise likely Inter dominance on this season
Player to watch: Federico Chiesa whom you might remember from Euro 2020 where he looked like Utd Ronaldo. He’s back from being out injured for almost a year and seems to have regained a lot of confidence, his blistering pace and his great technique. A beast of a player and easily on the tier of Kvara and Leao in Serie A’s current “my winger is better than yours” pissing contest
## 1. Inter
yet another victim of modern football
Milan’s other club, Inter splintered off from Milan in 1908 over their choice to hire international players as opposed to Milan’s policy of only hiring italians. Inter has a solid claim to the title of 2nd biggest club in Italy through a century of consistent success and, notably, having never been relegated as opposed to Juve and Milan who were both punished for their involvement in major scandals. Ironically enough, Inter also had a banter era in the 2010s, though they snapped out of it earlier than Milan under Antonio Conte, who led them to their first title since Mourinho’s iconic treble. Inter seems to be the most well-oiled machine in italian football right now: the team is great and relatively young, DoF Marotta is an absolute legend in the field, manager Simone Inzaghi and his affinity for cup competition has seen Inter win 4 cups and reach a CL final in the past two seasons, almost always at the expense of Milan. A league title seems to be the only thing that’s missing from Inzaghi’s stint at the biscione and so far, the results make a scudetto seem likelier by the day, with the 2 point lead over Juve soon to be either expanded or nullified by next week’s clash against Juve
Player to watch: Mkhitaryan but unironically: Inter has a ton of young can’t miss talent like Lautaro or Barella and yet the heart of Inzaghi’s system has been Mkhi at CM, who’s taken over Calhanoglu’s role with the latter being pushed back to replace Brozovic. The man’s turning 35 soon and yet he’s starting even over new signing Frattesi. Don’t sleep on him and make sure not to miss out on his last "serious"seasons.
BONUS TRACK: derbies and rivalries
Salernitana-Napoli: a local rivalry within the region, Salerno itself is split between the two clubs and things have been heating up, especially after Salernitana spoiled Napoli’s scudetto party
Empoli-Fiorentina: another local rivalry without much to report
Torino-Juventus: Torino’s derby, though a bit of a one-sided affair in the recent years, is always an exciting and heartfelt match
Sassuolo-any of the big 3: Universally hated, Sassuolo tends to show up at any bigger club, win some points in their stadium and then immediately drop them the following week to some relegation candidate
Fiorentina-Atalanta: a cool exercise in how hatred works, Fiorentina’s ultras started out with a mild dislike for Gasperini and the end result is that now the two fanbases fiercely hate each other
Fiorentina/Napoli-Juventus: both clubs hate Juve because they tend to show up and buy their best players on top of hating them for the reasons everyone else dislikes juve (they win a lot and there’s often something shady about them). While one-sided in theory, Juve fans also seem to hate those two clubs to a lesser degree
Milan-Inter: Milan’s derby though not particularly exciting in terms of how violent it can get is one of the biggest derbies in Italy and often ends up being a title decider
Juventus-Inter: the Derby d’Italia is the biggest match in Italy and the respective biggest rivalry of both clubs, especially between non-local fans. Definitely watch these matches.
Roma-Juventus; Roma fans hate Juventus for the usual reasons and for a few extras like manager Capello leaving to join them or a phantom offside in a Roma-Juve that cost us a title
Roma-Lazio: probably the most heated derby in Italy, both clubs often didn’t have anything to play for the entire season other than bragging rights in the derbies and it’s a very tough affair, the hatred between the two clubs is strong but the atmosphere on those weekends is absolutely crazy
Roma-Napoli: the current biggest thing between italian ultras and a fierce rivalry even without that aspect, a friendship once broken turned into mild disinterest when the two clubs ended up in separate divisions only to quickly go back to a flashpoint as soon as they were reunited and now the sheer hatred between ultras and constant actions against the other have made it an absolute dumpster fire of a matchup, albeit an interesting one
Great post.
Small detail: Milan ended 4th not 5th last year, they wouldn’t have been in the CL otherwise
they were promoted to 4th because Juve got penalized
Fair point
I find it interesting that you chose to mention Calciopoli only for Juve, but not for Milan, Fiorentina, Lazio or the others involved. Also, no mention of Milan’s or Lazio’s relegation in the Totonero match fixing scandal.
Se avessi dovuto parlare in modo dettagliato dei problemi giudiziari di ogni squadra avrei dovuto fare un post chilometrico a parte ma non so quanto interessi alla gente che Viola ha provato a pagare un arbitro di coppa nell’anno della finale. Su calciopoli ho provato ad essere più breve possibile ed è lì perché più o meno “apre” tutto il processo che ha portato agli scudetti un po’ come lo chiude specularmente il caso plusvalenze (lo schema è circa scandalo-retrocessione/anni di merda-scudetti-anni di circa merda-scandalo).
OP thank you for your work on this! I’ve been spamming all my English speaking friends with this series in my relentless quest to convert them to the most chaotic league in Europe. Ty also for the witty quotes, I laughed way too hard @ the Juve one.
“Roma and Lazio don’t have anything to play for the rest of the year besides bragging rights during the derby” killed me because it’s true. I’m a Lazio-neutral Roma fan, like, I’m actually happy when Lazio do well because ‘Hey, at least ONE club from my city did something’ but when it’s derby week I become laziophobic. It’s just the history of the
TottenhamDerby della capitalethanks for the kind words!
As for the derbies, I think that statement does somewhat ring true even today but by comparison we’ve been in a sort of enlightened era since the 90s with cups, european football and even scudetti. By most firsthand accounts and most of my research, people used to say and actually mean it much more around between the 60s and Viola’s presidency when there literally wasn’t anything else to play for other than dodging relegation, most notably as Anzalone’s rometta. The mid 70s in particular were wild, by the time Lazio was banished to the curva nord Rome was one of the hearts of the ultras movement and most of our seasons revolved around whether we could Lazio on or off the pitch, preferably both, and mostly, so did Lazio’s when they weren’t too busy shooting each other or playing in Serie B. I personally can’t stand them but while these derbies sound crazy I’m somewhat glad we’re both bigger clubs now
This guy clearly hates Juventus. Using ISIS to be funny… Really classy, OP