‘It’s not you, it’s me’ is the gist of college student qualms with dating apps. Hook-up culture declines while young people search for genuine connection.

  • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    Grindr was fine from what I hear. But it had a unique way to succeed. Horny men want horny men right now. It was an evolution of cruising not of dating.

    The rest? Yeah I meet people in person for a reason.

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Yeah and honestly ironically I think such an app could also have success with lesbians if it wasn’t for the fact that it would include a lot of “surprise my boyfriend wants to join/watch”. I know plenty of women who want casual sex with men but decide that the risks aren’t worth rushing in.

        And yeah not all or even most gay men are the grindr audience, but their casual sex scene is an enduring part of their culture. And it’s because horny dumbass 21 year old men who are attracted to men can just fuck other horny dumbass 21 year old men.

        Though I do think there’s been interesting cultural shifts they’ve developed due to grindr. Namely many have begun employing safety techniques traditionally used by women on dates.

        And I’ve noticed that part of the queer backlash against grindr and the like is that it doesn’t build culture or community like the things it replaced. You go to a gay bar, get irresponsibly drunk looking for a casual lay, maybe you find it, maybe you find someone who isn’t your type that you chat with all night, maybe you find friends old or new. I hate that our and their in particular main cultural hub is bars, but that’s something really important for community building that living on the apps will cost you.

    • Pregnenolone@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      Grindr went through a period where it was really shit, but in the last two years or so it has gotten a lot better.