Image of a screenshot of Twitter of a screenshot of Facebook.
The Facebook screenshot reads:
Fun fact about me: When I’m having a conversation with you, I will periodically bring up personal experiences from my own life, interspersed withing your own stories that you’re telling me. I’m not doing this to try and make the conversation about me, or to take away from your own experience. Actually, what I’m attempting to do, is to try and show you that I do, in fact, understand what you’re trying to tell me, and that I am giving your story my full attention.
It can really be off-putting to some people, so if I’ve ever done this to you during a conversation, I just wanted to make sure you know that I wasn’t trying to take over your story, I was just doing my best to connect with you in the moment.
The screenshot of Twitter reads:
This. I am fully aware that I do this. And I feel so guilty every time, but this. Understand this.
I’ll often consciously play a game where I try to get my conversational partner to ‘open up’, telling me more personal information than a person would normally tell. Meanwhile, I keep my revelations to a minimum, keeping the ratio as high as I can. I’ve had people cry and hug me, all while knowing nothing about me. I do like helping people and comforting them though.
Probably sociopathic behavior now that I think about it. Forget I mentioned it.
I respect this. I fix computers for a living and people tell you a surprising amount about their lives if you just nod and agree with platitudes like “Oh yeah, I definitely get it.” and “That’s fair enough”
Hahaha, as a nurse, I think you should become a nurse. This is a clinical skill we are taught called “therapeutic use of self.”
I will selectively tell stories from my own personal background explicitly for the sake of drawing more information out of a patient, letting them know they’re not alone I’ve been through something similar, or sometimes just a funny anecdote to distract them from something uncomfortable.
But it’s never about something I’m particularly interested in talking about. It’s only because it’s relevant to the patient’s current situation and I feel like it might help them in some way. Because, after all, love y’all and everything, but I’m at work here, not trying to socialize with ya.
And yes…it sometimes feels a little sociopathic lol
It’s been mentioned below that you’re unknowingly employing a therapeutic skill as a coping mechanism, but it bears mentioning that you absolutely could and should consider with a professional why it arose. Neurodivergence or personality disorders do lend themselves to developing these kind of coping strategies. It might be worth seeing someone to discover if new self-understanding and control are just around the corner.
This sounds like a kind of, admittedly wicked, talent. Wanna share how you would go about it?
(Edit: ok I think you got what I did there, judging from the fact that you deleted the reply)
Honestly just showing genuine interest in a person is often enough.
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Apparently I do this subconsciously. I’ve literally had thousands of people tell me that, “You’re so easy to talk to,” or “I wouldn’t tell anyone else this, but you make me feel safe.”
I’ve yet to figure out how to actually use this autistic power for good.