I was actually going to write a fresh post, but then I realized that a lot hasn’t changed since the last time I posted here. Here’s the old post if you’re interested.
Short version: I cannot find employment at all in my field (electrical engineering). It’s not “we’re not hiring”, it’s “we’re not hiring you.” I need to pay bills. I am physically and emotionally exhausted from being so close to poverty for so long.
What has changed:
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I have been through about 10 interviews. Furthest I’ve gotten in one company’s hiring process is to 2nd interview. Rather than 30 applications, I have filled out over 150 applications, but I’ve honestly lost track. No offers. I have exhausted all the entry-level engineering opportunities my college’s job board has to offer. I literally have to wait for new jobs to be posted because I applied for everything. The problem is that I don’t have experience. My resumé is fine (probably) as it gets me interviews, but I simply do not have engineering experience. I am fully convinced that no engineering firm will hire me in my current state.
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I ran out of meds about a month ago, so I feel a lot more irritable. My parents have offered to pay for a psych appointment and meds, but like…once. I will take it, but I’m waiting until I know for sure I can get more meds by the time I run out.
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To my absolute shock, I was accepted to pursue a master’s degree at my alma mater, and the Financial Aid department has assured me that I qualify for financial aid. So at least I’m allowed to…go into further debt for further education. Yay.
Now if capitalism [1] were not an issue, I would immediately pounce at the opportunity to do a masters degree. I enjoy learning and if I thought I could choose, I would go into research. However, I gotta pay the rent (even and especially if I live with my parents), I gotta eat, and I gotta pay back the loans. Even if I go with the degree, I have to make money to pay the rent while I’m in school.
My degree is/would be in electrical engineering. I always told myself I’d be able to get a job after all this, I always told myself I picked a “safe” major. But I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be constantly living on the edge of poverty like this. And the fucking interviewers are starting to ask about the gap in my work history since I fucking graduated. HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO GET EXPERIENCE IF YOU STUPID FUCKS WON’T LET ME GET EXPERIENCE?!?!? I wish I never went back to fucking school and I fucking hate my life.
[1] Not looking to proselytize or debate politics, but I’m not sure how else to explain to people what economic impulses force me and most other humans to act against our interests. If it bothers you, replace “capitalism” with whatever you think is responsible for making ordinary people act against their economic interests.
I have a private GitHub repo with notes and scripts for all phone or video calls I’ve made since August when I thought to put it into repo. Everytime I take a call, I write down what topics I discussed, what questions were asked, and how I answered. Each call gets a list of scripts, possible answers, and information about the position, company, and interviewer. After the interview, I rewrite answers to new questions, save everything, and git push origin main. Next time I make a call, I just need to pull the repo, run a helper script that sets up the next call, and repeat. Basically, it’s been an iterative process of learning what works and what doesn’t. It’s great because I can show up on any PC with git and pull my notes and go.
The text files are in front of my face for all calls and interviews.
I also have a GitHub repo for every copy of my resumé.
My interviewing is probably okay, and if it isn’t I still think I’ve found a process that converges towards success. Still, I am autistic, and there are probably ways I “weird out” interviewers that I can’t detect yet. Furthermore, not having medication has made it a lot harder not to be visibly irritated by “HR questions”. For example, I had an interviewer ask me this week “what have you been working on since you graduated” and I kinda blurted out “looking for work” in a really exasperated tone. I used to be able to “massage” questions like that even a few weeks ago, at least not bark at them.
I think the issue is that I don’t have the experience that companies are looking for, i.e. internships. But also, I just need a break, and more generally I need to feel safe.
I know it’s not your field and not what you wanted for a career, but if you’re comfortable with git and writing scripts, you probably have the skills to get an entry level devops job somewhere. I have a relative with a mechanical engineering degree, and she’s working as a data analyst right now for this exact reason. It’s not mechanical engineering but it’s a job and it’s pretty kushy all things considered.
I’ve applied for at least 10 devops/software development jobs. No response from any of them. Problem is, my school generates IT and CS graduates who are actually trained to use these tools. I’m just a hobbyist. I just know enough git to use it. Same with bash.
Because tbh I really enjoy programming; I’ve begun to program audio plugins as a hobby, so a software developer job would be great for me.
Actually one of the reasons I picked EE as a major was deliberately because if engineering didn’t work out, I thought I’d be able to bail into a nearby industry. However, it seems like employers are only interested in employees with the correct degree.
I know the feeling intimately. I truly wish that for you. I hope you can get what you need to help you function in this fucked society.
Thanks for sharing your process, it appears very efficient. I’m just grasping at straws, but do you think there’s an interview coach (one that works specifically with autism would be amazing, if they exist) that could work with you? Would a recruiter be able to help? I’m guessing there are fees associated, which is not real helpful when you’re unemployed.
The thing that helped me the most is recognizing that the interviewers are not necessarily looking for the most technically competent, they’re looking for people who can sit in the hierarchy without threatening it. In general, that doesn’t align with an autistic brain. But I’m also high masking, which may not apply to you and will unfortunately likely make it more difficult to exist in a neurotypical-dominant world. I also started with a very low demand job and kept building interpersonal skills and mechanisms to cope with being autistic.
Though I’ve also been dealing with massive burnout for the last 3-5 years, so I’m probably not the paramount example of a successful, long term strategy. Ultimately, I’m continuing to look at entrepreneurship as a sustainable path.